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For the first five sermons we have really looked at marriage and what it all means. The role of the husband, the role of the wife, why we are married and so on and today we are going to shift gears to look at singleness. I'm not going to ask how many of you here are single but I think singleness is a growing number here in this land, probably across the globe, many more people are choosing to remain single. Some of them struggle, some of you struggle with issues of singleness and I hope from a very simple message today, this will be helpful to you.

I begin with a little kind of a illustration from the United States. It says if you marry the right person everyday is Valentine's Day. If you marry the wrong person everyday is martyr's day, you don't have that in Singapore, you have that in the States, marry a lazy person, and everyday is Labour day, marry a rich person everyday is New Year's Day you celebrate that, marry an immature person everyday is Children's day, marry a liar and everyday is April Fools' Day and if you don't get married, everyday is Independence Day.

So today we are here to celebrate Independence Day, we are here to celebrate what singleness is all about. Now, singleness is something that is difficult to handle for some people but it is something that is important for all of us I think to understand. You say why, because some of you today are single for a season of your life, you are 18,25, 35, you still want to get married, but for this season, you're single, what does God have to say to someone like yourself? What do you do, how do you respond in this stage, or station of your life? Maybe some of you are not single for a season, you actually want to be single for your whole life, is that proper, is that right, is there a place for it in the kingdom of God?

Maybe some of you today are not single but don't rule out the possibility that you may become single later on, your spouse may pass away and you may even have a divorce, not that you wanted but it may occur to you. So how do you respond when you should become single again. Or maybe some of you are parents, your kids are growing up, you see them enter teenage hood.

You see them become a young adult and they are starting to want to date, they are asking questions about this, how would you advise them. So these are the questions I hope this simple sermon would be able to address and not least I think it is important for a church like ours to understand God's teaching on singleness, so that we will not despise or marginalize singles, but we will be able to embrace them, love them and serve them well.

So today we are going to look at this subject and I think it's important to look at this subject only after we've looked at marriage because I think when you have a proper understanding of marriage then as a single person you will not over desire marriage as if it is an idol as if this is the ultimate satisfaction of your life and you will not under desire marriage as if it is a bad thing. So we need to have that balance and I hope with this context, laid down in the past five weeks, we are able to approach this subject much more.

So today's subject on singleness, I just want to tackle three simple things, there are many things to cover in singleness, not least, how you should court or how we should date that there's a lot to say, there's a lot to talk about, but we are just going to look at three subjects or three subdivisions here, number one, I want to emphasize, singleness is also great in the kingdom of God. There is a place, there is a beauty, there is a purpose to being single and there are opportunities open to single people, it is also great.

Number two, I want to share with you, what you have to do when you are waiting, when you have to wait. So you're 25, you are 26, you know that you do look forward to getting married, but you've found no one yet, no prospect, catch no one so far, so what do you do when you're in that state of waiting and then number three when you've found, finally found someone how you are to date, there are principles, I think the Bible lays down that may be helpful in your courtship, in your dating life. Alright so these are the three things, and this is a simple sermon, I hope it will be useful for you even though it is simple.

So number one singleness why it is also great. Actually to many people in Singapore. Singleness is not so great. In fact, this season of the year is the most difficult for single people. This Chinese New Year period, is most difficult for single people. Why, because if you are single and you go visiting, the question they ask you is why you never get married or when are you getting married and that's the question year after year after year isn't it. It's almost like people were asking what's wrong with you, how come you're so picky, how come you just can't find someone, why aren't you getting and you are made to feel like yah, something is wrong with me because you see your relatives having children and you are left there alone. So going to Chinese New Year visitations is very challenging for you, maybe going for class reunion is difficult for you because again, your classmates are all hitched, they are married, they may be having kids but you're still alone.

So society does not actually make it easy for singleness, difficult. I'm a Chinese, so if you're not a Chinese, pardon me, I, I come from a Chinese culture and in the Chinese culture, we also have expectations for forming families and having children right and this is very much ingrained in our life because of some Proverbs that we have.

For example, 男大当婚 女大当嫁 Nan Da Dang Hun Nu Da Dang Jia, don't ask me to translate, it's already there, alright. So if you are not married people say you are immature is it, how come you can never get married. So when you are mature enough, it's time to get married, it's almost like the automatic stage of life, everybody should enter into.

The Chinese also value this culture or this value of
传宗接代 Chuan Zhong Jie Dai, you must pass on your family line It is very bad, if your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather pass his genes to your granddad, to your dad and to you and then you stop here. You are not passing the line, it's not good. And that's the kind of expectation, the Chinese people may have and it's even more explicit with this proverb 不孝有三，无后为大, Bu Xiao You San, Wu Hou Wei Da, wah, this one, really jialat leh, nobody likes to be called an unfilial son or daughter right but they say, the most grave, the most serious deed of a lack of filial piety is when you have no descendants.

So with all these added together, it is quite easy for a single person to feel lousy about himself or herself. It's quite understandable that he may start to believe these lies about himself or herself. It's all my fault, I can't get a girlfriend, I can get a boyfriend, there must be something wrong with me. It's very easy for a man or woman then to think that it is because God can't provide, I want to have a spouse, but God has not come through for me, He hasn't given me his a partner. So we say God, He is powerless to give me my partner or maybe, we say God is able, but he doesn't want to God won't, maybe He doesn't love me, maybe doesn't care for me. You may not say that but that's what you experience in your head as you think about your singleness. Maybe you're hoping that somehow when you're married, marriage will fix all your problems.

So you think I'm struggling today, I'm lonely today, I'm unhappy today, but if I should just get married, I'll be fine and you think that marriage is a panacea, the solution to all your problems. Or maybe it's very easy for you to think that you are not valued as a single and you are second-class in the kingdom of God, God loves those who are married, God doesn't love me who is a single man or a woman. So I'm saying it is very difficult for anyone, I think here in Singapore to have that single lifestyle.

Yet the Bible, I think is pretty clear that actually, singleness is also great. Now I'm not saying necessarily that we should now despise marriage and lift up singleness, just like I don't think is right to exalt marriage over singlehood. But I'm saying it is also great, marriage is great, yes, marriage has its challenges but marriage is great singleness, please don't despise it, it is also great. Why, well let's hear from Jesus. Jesus was once asked isn't it better then, that a man should not marry. If it's so difficult, isn't it better for a man not to marry, Jesus answered well not everyone can receive this saying, not everyone can remain unmarried, but only to those who it is given.

So Jesus is saying yes, it's true, singleness is also great. However, the problem is not everybody can remain single, not everybody is given this gift and he goes on to say, there are eunuchs who have been so from birth. So this probably refers to people who are maybe having some diseases, they are congenitally eunuchs or there are those who are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, that I think is familiar to again, Chinese people, you have Gong Ting De Tai Jian right eunuchs who work in the royal palace. The king, the Emperor doesn't want to take any risks with his concubines and harem with any man so every man who serves in the royal courts you have to be made a eunuch. So that those who are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and that's in other kingdoms and cultures too and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

Now, I don't think this is about castration, this is about those who remain single, this is referring to those who remain celibate for their life, so that they may serve God in the kingdom of heaven. So Jesus is saying, it's not true that singleness is in any way inferior in this case there can be those who are so dedicated to God that they have chosen to remain single in order to serve Him, but this is not for everyone, nevertheless it is not anything inferior whatsoever, Jesus laid down therefore this teaching in Matthew 19 and apostle Paul himself would chime in, in first Corinthians chapter 7, he says that I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is, what do you mean ? Well if he is bound to a wife, then don't get a divorce, stay there, abide in the same calling wherein you're called. But if he is free from a wife, do not seek a wife, it's not inferior, it's not second-class, it's not bad for you to remain single.

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord, but the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife and his and his interests are divided. You say why is singleness good, what opportunities does singleness provide, actually a lot, isn't it. I've been in this church for 20 over years, I've seen our young people grow up and I've seen how young people when they are in the youth ministries, in the young adults they are full of fire and passion, they want to give their life for the cause of the Gospel.

But many of them, I see this trend, they saw a girl, saw a guy and Cupid shot the arrow and they started to and they started to change, they started to spend a lot more time wooing, courting, then they got engaged, then they got married, then they got a house and they spend their time, they spend the their hours, working hard to provide for the house, provide for the family and then soon they poop, come up with two kids and very soon, that desire and that passion years ago is now a distant dream.

Now, is it their fault not really, not always, it can be. It can be that your family has become an idol, it can be that raising a decent family has become the ultimate goal of your life. It can be that these good things that God has blessed us with can replace God in our hearts, in our lives, but it may also be that, 1st Corinthians 7 is being missed out, it's just that though you still worship God, you do have a family to take care of and you should not neglect your family.

So you may hear a sermon today that says you are to serve God, you are to give your life to Jesus and, and say yes, I need to serve, I, I've to step up to serve in this ministry and that ministry, but I got my baby to feed in the middle of the night and I have no energy the next day. Maybe you hear of how you need to grow in the Scripture and you say there are Bible studies I can go for but I got to spend time with my wife. Maybe you hear a message and you are encouraged to explore serving God in overseas missions, but you say I can't, I, I got my wife and two kids at home I can't just leave them and so you're anxious about these things but a single man or single woman does have that freedom and opportunity to do and to explore things maybe a married person can't.

So is it inferior, no, according to Paul you can be devoted to pleasing the Lord and pursuing His will here. He goes on to say and the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit, I love this, what does it mean to be a lady who loves the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. So it applies to both the guy and the gal, no difference there. I say this not for your, I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord, so that he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord, yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. So you see the consistent line of argument from Paul, he doesn't run down singleness but he exalts and informs us of the glorious opportunity to devote themselves to God. Now some of you may say Paul, you don't understand singleness. It's very hard to be single, you talk about this as if it's a theory. Well, it's not because in verse 8 to the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. So this is not your pastor talking here I married so you say you don't do anything well, Paul understood what it meant and he was single, to have that undivided devotion to the Lord and you can't say he's inferior to anyone of us, you can't say Jesus is inferior because he was single. So singleness is also great.

Now I want you to understand that what Paul said what he said in first Corinthians 8, it was revolutionary it really was, because to the Jews carrying on the genealogy the linage, the family line is very important. They believe the children are an heritage of the Lord, in fact if you read about the lives of Rachel and Sarah and Hannah, the ladies of time past, they were very sad when they were barren. So not having kids, not being able to carry on the family line is something devastating to them and so when Paul say it is really quite cool, it's really quite okay that you should devote yourself to God and not be married it blows the mind of the average listener.

So we can't today change society right I mean I can tell the world to say, singleness is great, well people may not all listen, but I hope with this truth in the Bible, the words of Jesus the words of Paul as a single person, if you are dedicating your life to serve Him, there is no shame whatsoever. Now if you say, I want to be single so that I can enjoy life then I say not so good lah I can be single so that I can travel the world, then I say not so good lah but if you say I want to be single so that I serve God, that's fantastic, it's also great, okay. Now we are not here called as a Chinese church, we are not here as a Singaporean church, we are here as a Christian church. We follow the Bible our deepest identity, our surest identity is not in the color of her skin or in our relatives, but in the fact that we are followers of God, because of the Gospel. So let the Scriptures define who you are, other people can say many things about you, but the Scriptures define who you are, singleness is also great.

Now let me move on time is running short and I want to say, what do you do when you have to wait. So you're 25, you are 28 you are 20, 32, the clock is ticking away, your ovaries are the, the, the oocytes being produced are of lower quality you think as the years go by. So you say I need to get married but what do I do when I have to wait, when there's no one in sight, what do you do. Actually there are a few options open up to you if you're waiting right number one Settle which means anyone that walks out of the door, you say the first one you catch you get him So settle for anyone that's one way to stop waiting right ah ter, ah kau, ah gu mah ho, I just want to get that guy. Let me get married, so you can settle, you can just get anyone.

Another option you may take is okay I don't want to settle, I don't want to just get married with the wrong gal, wrong guy, so but I've been waiting for 10 years, 15 years, it's difficult. I'm tired and so, you surrender, you give up all hope of ever getting married and you just give it all up, surrender. Maybe some of you don't surrender but you swing to the other extreme, you sin, you date casually, you sleep around and you don't care about anything anymore because you're disappointed and frustrated, you sin.

Or maybe some may say I don't want to do that but I don't want to give up hope, but I'll just sit here and mope and, and be upset and have a self pity party. So you suffer there, you, you are unhappy about life and you moan and you groan or maybe some of you swing to option number five which is the strive which means instead of pursuing, God, now pursuing a spouse is your main objective and mission of life. So everyday you try to lose weight instead of eating proper meals you eat water and instead of going to church, you go to the gym and now you spend all your money on getting beautiful clothes, making yourself as attractive you can you strive and this becomes your idol, this becomes your mission, not the great commission, but getting hitched becomes your mission, this then defines you.

Now I think it's quite obvious to all of us as we look at these five things, now by the way, these are not theoretical options these are real option you know. There are people who actually do this I'm sure it comes across your mind should I just settle with him, I don't like him but he's only one available, should I just settle, should I just give up, maybe marriage is not for me. Should, should I just forget about all this morality stuff and just sleep around because that's the best chance of netting someone or grabbing someone, should I just suffer or should I change gears, I go for sports, I go for exercise, I go for gym and forget about church on Sunday, my, my real church is now the gym, these are real options people think about.

I don't think biblically, you can justify any of these options isn't it, but let me just say this, I think as single people, you struggle with a few things. You struggle with this waiting, because number one, whilst you're waiting, you feel very lonely whilst you are waiting you feel empty, whilst you are waiting you're saying I am not really happy, I can't be really happy until I find and I am with the right girl or right guy. I think the Bible, however, does not teach that, the Bible does not teach us that our great joy, supreme joy is found in some thing or in someone apart from God Himself.

I think the Bible's teaching is crystal clear, rejoice in the Lord the song we've just sung and those words are not theoretical words, those words are spoken and written by a man who was living in prison at that time, his name is Paul. Paul was in prison, he does not know whether he will live or not he may die the very next day, but when he was in chains when he was in prison when he was abused, he says rejoice always in the Lord. Now as a single person you may feel trapped you may feel unhappy but, the principle from Paul applies, rejoice in the Lord. I think this season of singleness may be a great season for you to realize and to learn that really my ultimate satisfaction is found in God alone I'm made for God and I find my deepest joy in God, at His right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

You see, we live in a country, we live in a day where we find no satisfaction very easily from a lot of things you feel a bit sad go Tao Bao buy a few stuff. You feel a bit unhappy, go get some nice food, comfort eating, we, we have found so many coping mechanisms to deal with some void, but how many of us have really been put through situations where really nothing can satisfy and we realize our whole satisfaction is in God alone.

So when you are waiting don't settle, don't surrender, don't sin, don't suffer, don't strive, but cultivate that satisfaction in God. What I mean by that is, devote yourself to God, waiting for a spouse is not passive, waiting for a spouse is very active you say pastor, what do you do go to disco ah, look, look, look there very active, no, no, no I not saying that kind of activity, but you are actively pursuing growth in Jesus, actively pursuing sanctification instead of looking for the right guy or right gal, focus on being the right guy or right gal, that you may have such a life that is attractive to others, not in muscles or clothing, but in life and I think that principle holds true for every stage of your life, grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So as a single person I know this, what I've just said is very simple, it's very easy to say but when you are a single person dealing with it day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, it's not exactly easy, but nevertheless the Bible is still very clear. I think as a Christian I look to my Savior for my supreme joy and I look to my Savior, to become more like Him, and that's how I wait. It's not passive, it's active, I devote myself to ministry, I devote myself to the means of grace, to Bible studies, to prayer meetings, to community and it is in such processes that, perhaps, then God leads us in the next stage of our lives. Now, I'm not saying that you then stop talking to other people of the opposite gender and say I focus on God, I focus, I don't focus on girls I don't think that's the balance I'm talking about, but it does involve a deliberate attempt and effort to pursue Him, okay, look to the Savior. So singleness, why it's also great when you have to wait.

And lastly, now you've found that what you thought is the right guy, what you thought is the right girl, you want to go into the next stage, you want to date him or her so that one day you will be married. How are you to date, what are the principles that govern this process? So what are the principles for dating? Now this is not so straightforward because there is no passage in the Bible that really describes this dating process, well you could say a little bit about Isaac and Rebekah but really not much dating there right. Rebekah was brought back by Eleazar, the steward of Abraham's household and then they met and then they got married, that's not quite classic dating. You may look a little bit like the book of song of Solomon but it's not so straightforward.

So dating anyway is something quite recent, hundred, two hundred years ago in the past a lot of them are arranged by parents, betrothal processes and so on. So that being said, it doesn't mean that there are no principles given in the Bible that you should consider.

A few things I like you to be reminded of, very simply, number one principles of dating, purpose, in other words, why do you date. Supposed today, your 13-year-old son comes to you and say mom, I like Jane in my class and you know my classmates all have stead already I also want stead, can I go stead with Jane I have not ask her yet but I want to ask you can I go stead with Jane? What would you say as a mother steady lah son, would you do that ? You shake, shake your head, why does the Bible forbid dating at 13 years old, does the Bible forbid that not quite, so why do you say no or maybe your daughter comes to you, to you as a father John asked me out for a movie, I think he wants to go stead with me, can or not? Your daughter 14 years old as a father, what would you say, no, loud laughter, who is that aah no ah, why so loud no how come the 13 year old son, son nobody say anything, the 14 year old girl can, so why, why no too early.

What is too early, well, actually again, the Bible doesn't forbid marrying at 14, now, what's the problem well a lot of times, we, we, we say it's too early. Why, because you are not yet ready to be married. So I think it's very easy whether you should date or not should be determined by whether you are ready to be married or not. So if you are 13 years old and you say I like this gal, she's my best friend, I want to marry her in the future when I'm 30 years old, I want to date her now, I say maybe not lah, 17 years is a long time to date and 17 years is a long time to fight against temptation. So, you date when you are ready to be married.

You see in this world today there are people who date because they just want to have some fun there are people who date because they don't want to feel left out, the whole class all paired up already index number one and 10 paired up two and then I'm left alone, wah, better to grab someone first, otherwise I look like the lousy, the leftover kind of guy or gal, so you date. Or some date because they just want to have sex before marriage.

Now, all these are wrong reasons to get to know a person of another gender in dating because I think you date only if you are seriously considering marriage. So I tell my kids, 21, I, I don't know whether it's true or not lah well, anyway, I asked them, do you want to get married they say, no, eee, okay, that's what they tell me now, two years later you see. But these are things I have to talk to them about, right because they are going to enter into schools and friendships where everybody talks about going steady and they need to understand why, so number one dating the purpose is very important.

Number two is very simple when you date you got to look, look for the right partner. Alright, you got to look for the right, what do you look for in a partner, what do you look for in a partner, sorry, godliness okay what else, gender, okay that's a good point, you can never take it for granted today, right, you can you can never take it for granted today. What else character good, good points. Anything else faith, good nobody say looks, nobody say height. Nobody say degree or capacity to earn, well, I would say yes, you would have all these right words and considerations.

But I just to emphasize two things alright. I can't speak about everything, but two things. Number one, he or she must be a Christian now, if you are not a Christian then it's okay you don't look for a Christian, but if you are a Christian, then you have to look for a Christian. You say why, yah why, why, that's a great question, why I mean, you should not take something just because it's someone who said it like I said it, no, but why, can anyone tell me why does the Bible say that, where, where, where, where, where don't have well, we are going to have church split soon you know, have, don't have, can't decide where yah, does the Bible say cannot marry a non-Christian, if you're Christian, unequally yoked where is unequally yoke found Corinthians come on, 2nd Corinthians 6:14 alright, Yim Leng has given you the text in second Corinthians chapter 6.

In 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 it talks about unequal yoke which means a cow cannot for example by yoked or burdened together with that agricultural device with a lamb because there are different, different strength, different size, they will not move well together, it refers to how a man who is living in the light should not be yoked or linked together with someone living in darkness, they will go in different directions unequal yoke, but can you find a word wedding or marriage or husband or wife, in 2nd Corinthians 6? Then why you say marriage cannot? Next chapter next chapter no, not quite, next chapter is about repentance and so on that's right, so different chapter different book altogether.

So you don't find the word marriage wedding, husband, wife in second Corinthians 6 so aren't you wrong to say that unequally yoked should be applied to marriage ah, it applies to all relationships? So does it apply to your school, so can you go to a non-Christian school. Ah, you see this is where you have to be clear, can you go to a non-Christian school, can you eat in a non-Christian Hawker center, can you do school project with a non-Christian friend, unequal yoke.. You see, on one hand we can lump everything in this verse or on the other hand, we can excuse everything from this verse, we got to be fair, you got to be accurate.

So what is the key ? I think the key is this, now that's a common thing right, people asked where God says, I say 2nd Corinthians 6 then they are very smart, they say no marriage, no husband-wife relationship, why you go and apply this to marriage. The reason is very simple, 2nd Corinthians 6 is about spiritual venture together. It's about working together for God and His Kingdom so therefore I don't think it applies to every relationship I have, I can be in the same school, I'm not, I'm not working for God in this class for God. But when it comes to spiritual ventures together, it applies and I think a marriage properly viewed is a spiritual venture together, we are a team not to enjoy ourselves, but we are a team to serve and glorify God. So in that sense, you can't and you should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever because at the end of the day you will not be glorifying God together.

In fact, the deepest and most important part of you that identity of who you are is that you are a follower of Jesus Christ. Take everything away, you want to follow Jesus, you want to glorify God, I know that if you are real believer but for an unbeliever, no matter how decent and moral he is on the outside, he doesn't love God, he won't give his life for God. So you can never really have the deepest intimacy that Christian couples have, because the deepest part of you is so not align, in fact, it's diametrically opposite.

Therefore, when you select a partner, you should this is not legalistic, this is not as if aiyah, God gives us so many rules, He's a killjoy, He wants to restrict us, he doesn't want us to be happy, no. He wants your greatest happiness, even in this marital relationship and that's why He says do not be unequally yoked, alright. We've seen so many heartaches they don't believe, they don't want to obey God and His Word and they enter into such marriages and becomes difficult with time, so there's great wisdom. So when you select a partner, I just want to say principle number one I want to leave with you is, select a follower, a fellow follower of Jesus, yoked together, serve God together, glorify Him together that's your deepest joy.

Number two, I want to say, when it comes to selecting a partner, don't look for perfection because there will be none because all of us are sinners, you will one day have a pimple here one, one day have a tummy here one, one day you have a character flaw there. And if you're looking for someone who is perfect you will never get married. So understanding that marriage is a union of two sinners who desperately need to grow in grace and knowledge of our Savior frees you.

Now, of course it doesn't mean you anyhow settle now lah ah, pastor say no need perfect, so anyhow grab lah and I think, no, no, no, I think there's extremes that you need to avoid alright but basically select someone or choose someone, pray for someone who really loves Jesus, not just come to church because a lot of people can come to church, but they don't really believe Jesus right.

So look for someone who really knows and follows the Lord and then don't look for perfection. Everything else in between you can fill in the blanks, character, godliness, handsome, ugly, whatever you can choose.

The last thing, eh not last thing forgot, point number three, my time is running out. The third principle is that of purity in the dating. This is an important principle, especially for young people, sexual purity. Now that's why I don't think it's wise for you to start dating at 13 hoping to get married at 30, dangerous. There are temptations all along the way. Now when it comes to sexual relationships the Bible is actually very simple.

When it comes to your neighbors, your colleagues, your classmates can you have sexual relationships with them? Eh, you mean you have any doubt, I mean, it's like I only hear one guy say, can you have any sexual relationship with them, no, your neighbor, biblically defined neighbor is anyone around you alright. So your neighbor, no sexual relationship the only one who can have such a sexual relationship with is your spouse, marriage, that's where it allows for that and indeed it is honorable nothing dirty about, it is undefiled, Hebrews 13.

Now, when you come to this special category he's not my friend, not my classmate, but my steady my stead how ah, can have sexual relationship or not, cannot lah, can or not does the Bible give a third category that when you date you can, because it's a trial period, no there is really no category for that and so regardless of what people say, well regardless of what society says, they say, oh, we're getting married anyway, why wait, let's do it that's not biblical.

So in dating I think purity is a struggle for many dating couples and I think you got to be mindful and therefore there is wisdom when people say secularly people like to date exclusive one-on-one relationships, it's like they go out just with the gal or just with the guy, but if you really want to get to know someone, you don't always have to do that one on one, it's really in the group, in the community that you get to know others too.

By the way you don't really always need to know everything about someone before you get married. For large part of human history that has not been the case. So purity however is a value, it's a teaching that must be upheld, so remember that.

Last point fourth P, that's it for today anyone wants to guess, no one guessed it, in the first service on Saturday someone got it right just now first service. So second service fourth P and the person was new to church, this church. Sorry, who said it wah, Regina good ah, you spot on, parents ah you turned around and saw that is it, ha, ha, you are right, I think this is a often neglected principle.

I just want to say very simply, if you're a young person respect and honor your parents I'm not saying that your parents will always be right, of course not, but it is God's blessing to you that He has given you parents, your parents are to guide you, to protect you to shepherd you and so when it comes to dating, it is important to ask also your parents advice.

Some of you like to ask pastor's advice actually your pastor don't know that much about you, not as much as your parents. By all means ask your pastor if it that's helpful, but don't neglect to brush aside your parents, okay, it's wisdom. So Papa can I go out with him, it's something you should ask and your papa, if it's him say no okay I'm just kidding, hah,hah. If your papa is wise he will he will talk to the guy, find out more, together with you, act as a sounding board for you, wouldn't that be great, protect you from, from further harm and danger.

Well that's all I have to say for singleness. At the end of the day, I want to leave you with this, regardless of the stage, or the state or station of your life, whether you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, you do all to the glory of God, you get married for the glory of God, you stay single for the glory of God. And this is no, there is no sacrifice too great because the Bible tells us, Paul exhorts us, I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice.

The ultimate destination of your life is not marriage, nor singleness, the ultimate destination of your life is Jesus Christ. So whether you're married or whether you are single, shoot for the glory of your Savior, who gave Himself for you.

Let's bow for a word of prayer together. I hope this has been helpful to you, not just to know, but to examine your own hearts, that you may repent and you may obey and do the will of God. Perhaps some of you today are living in a stage of anxiety because you been waiting for some time now. Please don't settle, please don't sin, please don't surrender, please don't suffer or strife, but please do find your satisfaction in God.

This is a season that you can learn about your real joy in your soul, that is God. Devote yourself in this time of waiting, not always going on dating websites and applications, but devote yourself to the means of grace that you may grow, you may become the man and woman God wants you to be. Let the beauty of Jesus shine through more and more in you.

If you today are living in sin, you are dating someone, confess your sins before God, of immorality. Ask God to forgive you and He will, He is a gracious God, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and then endeavor today to live in purity to honor His Name.

Perhaps some of you today are thinking maybe I do have the gift of celibacy, I do have the gift of singleness, then don't waste your singleness, steward it for the glory of God, use it for the sake of the Gospel, you have opportunities, many others don't, don't waste it, singleness is also great if it is for the glory of God.

So Father we are thankful this day that we can hear Your Word. At the end of the day, we whether we are single or married, we remember the call of the Bible to present ourselves a living sacrifice, that we will truly give of ourselves to serve You and glorify God, not because we're forced to, but because we want to, because of the Gospel, because of Your mercies to us towards us, because You gave Your Son to die, to save us.

So God give us such a heart that loves You because You first loved us, that in regardless of which station or state of life we are in it will be for Your glory alone. So be with my brothers and sisters in Christ here, may we all say, in my life, in my home, in my church, may You be glorified. We pray all this in Jesus Name, amen.

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