Clairene:

I grew up attending church regularly with my family. But I always did so for the wrong reasons. I would attend Sunday school and my parents would go for the main service. After church, we never spoke in depth about what was taught. Church was also social, we would catch up with friends and have a great time over a meal. But the real purpose of church was always an afterthought.

For many years, I would drift in this routine- occasionally when I had difficulties in life I would cry out to God. In retrospect, He felt like an ATM magic machine, I only went to Him for help or thanked Him in the good times, but God was never that important to me.

The change for me began slowly. First, my previous church group started to mature in their faith. They began to serve extensively and spoke about Christianity with so much enthusiasm and fervor I felt so uncomfortable. In retrospect, I realised I was so steeped in sin and bitterness that their faith and passion were almost too blinding for me to comprehend.

As I stayed stagnant, we drifted further away as friends. My turning point was when my best friend left church to worship elsewhere, and I didn’t really care anymore. I shifted to Punggol shortly and during Christmas 2016, that same friend reached out to me and invited me to attend GLCC. I related well to the sermons and I actively went alone without prompting.

The next turning point came 2yrs later. During service, a youth introduced himself and invited me to join their Care Group. I had no obligation to accept and he had no obligation to invite me. It was all God. I joined the group, and my time with them was great. I learned so much. But just as I got more comfortable, the group split up!

I was worried the new campus group wouldn’t work out, but I decided to trust God. My faith started to grow, and I was on fire for God. With the influx of more new members, I actually started stepping up. Taking more initiative, and getting more involved to know others. I would never normally do this, and there was no reason for me to put myself out there for others. The only reason for all this change of perspective was God’s work in my life.

When Covid-19 hit, it was truly a blessing in disguise. There was no obligation to attend church or care group online. There was no peer pressure to learn about God. It was entirely my choice. Week after week, I actively started to look forward to learning more about God and there was this feeling inside me urging me to want to keep going. God was my priority now.

My thoughts were on how my actions would please Him, how my words would bless others to glorify His Name. I would get excited about small revelations I had when I read verses in the Bible that I have never seen previously.

Although life doesn’t get any easier, I still struggle every day against sin. This is this lightness of life that I never had before. It brings me a joy and relief that I cannot explain. I know that God is by my side, I know that my life is His.