All of us, we live for something. And this particular “something” motivates and drives us consistently in life. It can be religion, wealth, career, relationships or approval, and many more but I, centered my life pursuing “happiness". I tried to perfect this happiness with my own strength and capability. After I graduated from Polytechnic education, I secured a job for a year and a half, I also got to travel half the world. With financial support given by my parents, I graduated with a full university degree I have always wanted to complete, yet I was never truly happy with what I had because I wanted more. “Happiness" in my point of view is relatively subjective. It is derived from my standard of expectation, hence, there can always be “more" to the happiness I was seeking for. My expectations would have never satisfied my desire.
As I progressed into a new job after graduation from university, I was greatly disappointed with my workplace. Every promise made were voided and they gradually turned into disappointments, grudges, dissatisfaction, and discontentments. Over time, both career and personal growth within the workplace was hindered and social relationship deteriorated. This turned out to be especially challenging as the leader’s expectations, values, and working style vastly differed from my own. The struggle with trust among colleagues and the uncertainties in my daily life were hard to cope with as I heavily relied on the self. Life was of little meaning and I was not happy at all. It felt that my life had to account to the world who is judging.
It was then, Christ changed my life. He worked through many friends and family around me over several years and soften my heart in different ways of His teachings. I experienced Christ's love and presence through the scriptures my friend consistently shared through her social media platform. Indeed, His words are alive! Before I had the chance to know of the full gospel, I was marveled at how God's love through His words can become my everyday comfort. It enabled me to go through each and every grueling day on the battlefield at my workplace. Among the many scriptures shared, Proverbs 18:10 left an incredible impression. "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe." Our Father in heaven is so loving and almighty, He is a strong and mighty tower that we, His children, can take refuge at any time.
I was blessed to be fed on His words daily. Throughout that period of time, I prayed to God, admitted and confessed my sins to forgiven and self to be humbled. I asked God to work in my life and guide me through this dark valley as I learn to believe, trust, depend, rely on, and grow in my faith in Him. Over weeks and months as I seek to know Him more, all the more He revealed Himself to me. The burdens felt lifted day by day and I felt like a changed person through Him who gave me new life; free from self-righteousness, free from sins, free from the judgment of the world, and that I am only half accountable to God. He gave me the certainty and purpose of my life. Most importantly, I now know that I have this personal relationship with God that no one can snatch away from and through good times or bad, He is the only constant in my life from now till eternity that would never be changed.