Ever since I was young, I had the freedom to choose my religion. My parents were religious too, but the only god they seemed to follow, was money. My parents did not have time for me and my sister as they were always chasing after their careers and this caused a rift in our ties. My father succumbed to the lures that came with wealth and I witnessed how his love for money destroyed his marriage and tore our family apart after he abandoned us. I was broken, angry and hated my father for leaving us.
I knew deep inside me that I was born for a purpose. But I did not know who to turn to or how to find this purpose. My mother struggled to make ends meet and at one point wanted to give us all her savings and leave as well. I took my frustrations out on God. I cursed him and questioned him for making my life so miserable whilst others had happy families. I sank into the depths of despair and found solace in drugs and a sinful life.
When I met my wife Sue, I had my first encounter with Christianity. In 2017, she started praying for a church that we could both attend together and her search led her to Gospel Light. When I heard the sermon, a light switch felt like it turned on in my heart. I would always fall asleep during sermons, but that morning I sat there and listened and my heart was stirred. It was NOT a sugar-coated message, but yet it was the very thing my heart needed to hear. I strangely felt at home and at peace.
This started a journey for me to understand the bible. When I finally studied the Gospel of John, I felt the need to confront my troubled past, especially my unforgiveness towards my father. I asked God over months to help me forgive my father because deep in my heart, I found it impossible to believe that I had a Heavenly Father who loves me and wants me when my earthly father didn’t.
By the grace of God, I could finally find the strength to forgive my father. I understood finally that I had no right to hold a grudge against my father because he too was a sinner like me. Salvation has been an awakening and rebirth for me. I no longer revel in my sins and struggles with the flesh, but my new desires are for obedience to Jesus and His teachings. While I know a Christian life is not smooth sailing, I have the joy of knowing Jesus is with me even in the next storm of life. I pray I will be a faithful servant till I meet him face-to-face.