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This morning we'll resume our study in the Sermon on the Mount, in the book of Matthew, we have been really journeying through for the past few months and we come to Matthew 5 today on the subject on Revenge.

There's a story told of a farmer, an apple-orchard farmer, who was rather irritated because people have been driving to park beside his orchard.  They then climb over the fence and take his apples without asking him so one day he saw a group doing that, he walked towards them and one of them then says, “Sir, I hope you don't mind that we have been taking from your orchard, we've been taking apples from your trees.” The farmer replied, “Sure, I won't mind and I hope you won't mind that I just took some air out of your tires.”  Well, this farmer believed in revenge!  He believed in tit-for-tat, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

This is the basic principle many people live by.  If you hurt me, I will hurt you.  If you insult me, I will insult you.  In the Cantonese lingo [nei yuk ngo, ngo zao yuk nei] huh, so we all, many people understand the world operates by this principle.  Mohamed Ali for example, says, “I'm a fighter.  I believe in the eye for an eye business. I'm no cheek turner.  I got no respect for a man who won't hit back.  You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.” So people actually think that if you don't take revenge you are weak, you are not a man.

Well, what does the Bible say?  Interestingly this phrase, an eye for an eye is actually from the Bible.  Exodus 21 says but if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. So does the Bible teach you to take revenge - seems to be the case if you read this.  What does the Bible really say?

I have a friend who wanted to study law many years ago and so she went for an interview and the law professors looked at her application form and said to her, you said you're a Christian - what do you understand by the Bible's words that says an eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth. Now, if today you want to be a law student, you better understand or remember the answer that we will provide in this sermon, alright I think it's, it's helpful but what does the Bible really say?  Does the Bible really allow us and teach us to take revenge - to give an eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth?

Well, Jesus makes it clear that, that was the common understanding of the people then.  He said, “You have heard that it was said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth that's what you've been teaching the people, (that's what everybody does in the nation of Israel then) but I say to you - do not resist the one who is evil.” So Jesus says contrary to popular belief and teaching, do not take revenge, do not give tit-for-tat, do not give an eye for an eye, no retaliation!

Now, you scratch your head and then you say but er that's in the Bible right?  Is Jesus contradicting the Old Testament?  Is Jesus saying that Moses is wrong?  No, the Pharisees were wrong.  The religious leaders were wrong.  Why because when you look at Exodus 21 and actually Leviticus and Deuteronomy, these are books that contain this phrase, an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, in all these passages, they do not apply to personal justice or personal vengeance, it is all about the judges.  That's the context, that's the reading that you should have.  It is not laws given to individuals to exact vengeance, these are principles given to judges to exercise in the courts of law so this is not a matter for us to take into our own hands.

In fact, this becomes very clear when you look at other New Testament, Old Testament passages - you shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people. In fact, if you see your enemies, what do you do?  If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat and if he, he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In other words, you don't kick your enemy when he's down.  You don't “or bi guat” [dialect: you deserved it], you got into trouble. No, no, you don't take vengeance at all.  You help him.  You love him.  You love your neighbour including your enemies so the Jews in those days say, aah, I find a verse in the Bible that gives me justification to take revenge, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Jesus says no, absolutely not!  That's for judges - it's a good law for judges.

Now, it's about proportionality right.  It's about being giving a law that is of a sufficient deterrence and yet not excessive in its punishment. It makes sense for example - if you today commit littering and the law of the land is for anyone who litters, you will have to be sentenced to death.  You say wah…that's, that's way excessive but if you have a law that says if you rape someone, you'll be fined $10, that is way too light so an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, wonderful principle for the judges but it's not something for us to do - you do not resist, you do not resist the one who gives you grief, you do not retaliate, you do not take revenge.

Now Jesus now gives us four examples to lock this understanding in and these four examples are very interesting ones I think, very graphic, very vivid.  Number one, he gives the example of a slap “piak”. Well, this is given here in Matthew 5:39 but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Now to explain this better, I need a volunteer but let me assure you, I'm not going to slap you alright, don't worry. Can I have a volunteer?  Are you right-handed or left-handed? Okay, most people are right-handed alright. Now where's my right cheek ? Okay.  How would you slap my right cheek if you are right-handed? Wa that's right, look at him, wah, so el..so elegantly do it, alright, thank you very much that's all, thank you.

He gave a right-handed slap on my right cheek in a backhanded fashion, right you see that right?  Now I think this detail is rather interesting because according to rabbinic laws, a backhanded slap is twice as insulting as a forehanded one. This is a slap of insult, of contempt, of disdain you know, “xiao huo zi” 小伙子 [Chinese: hey you boy] and he slapped his right cheek, it's almost like it's very insulting it's not meant to inflict so much of hurt as it is insult, demeaning the other person so Jesus is saying, if someone insults you, demeans you, don't fight back, be willing even to turn to him the other cheek.

I read a story about a man who was slapped on one side and then he turned the other and says slap me here too. The other guy slapped him on the other side, he got up and now he punched that guy to death. A passerby asked him, “Why did you do that?”  He says, “Because Jesus tells me to turn the other side but he never told me what to do after that!”  Now obviously this is not an instruction as to what to do exactly when someone slaps you but this is an instruction on the attitude and the spirit that you should have a non-retaliatory spirit not to take revenge, not to give an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Now if you understand it that way and I think that is the right way to understand it, then it means this is also not a verse that says to you when you are slapped literally ask him to slap you here. No, no, I don't think that's what Jesus is saying because Jesus Himself did not turn the other cheek and ask the soldier to slap Him back.  You remember the time Jesus was slapped, back in the Book of John - John 18 a soldier slapped Jesus, what did Jesus do?  Hey wah, very nice, here also lah [Singlish verbal exclamation], he didn't say that.  John 18 tells us - He answered that soldier, how?  If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong but if what I said is right, why do you strike me so Jesus didn't literally turn His other side but He gave him a check, a question, why did you do that?  Obviously Jesus didn't have a spirit of vengeance for personal sake but He demonstrated what it means to be non-retaliatory alright so example number one, when someone insults you, you're tempted to fight back, to give an eye for an eye, to take revenge, don't do it, be willing not to do so. Expressed in this phrase, be willing even to give him the other side, not let you do it literally but it talks about your spirit.

Example number two is about a certain kind of clothing, alright, it, it brings us to the court of law, when Jesus says if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. Now in those days, clothings are precious stuff, they're not cheap stuff. Today if your clothes are not so good, you probably use it as a rag but in those days they don't, it's expensive, it's pricey so it's something of worth. Now the picture here is someone is angry with you, upset with you, he's your enemy, you don't like him, he doesn't like you and so he wants to sue you. He sues you for your tunic - a tunic is an inner clothing, inner garment, somewhat like singlets today. Some men, they, they wear a shirt on the outside and inside they have a singlet, an inner layer and this tunic is like an inner layer. Generally, someone will have a few singlets in his wardrobe so this person doesn't like you, he sues you in the court for your tunic for your, for your singlet.  Instead of getting angry and instead of getting, trying, trying to get even with the other guys and say, I'll counter sue you,  don't fight back, not that you can't but don't have that spirit of retaliation, don't fight back, don't take revenge and let it be expressed even in your willingness to give him your cloak.

Now what's a cloak - a cloak is the outer garment and typically, an average person would only have one cloak.  He has many tunics but he has only one cloak. This cloak is very important.  It keeps him warm at night so even in the Old Testament, God is very particular about this - He says, if ever you take your neighbour's cloak in pledge, so your neighbour wanted some money from you perhaps you say, alright I'm going to lend you some money but give me your cloak, but you can't hold on to that cloak because when it comes to evening, you shall return it to him before the sun goes down for, not all, for that is his only covering and it is his cloak for his body, in what else shall he sleep so this cloak is very important - it's like my blanket, my protection against the cold. Jesus says, if someone is so insistent on getting you, making you pay for it, fight that spirit of retaliation and be willing even to give him your precious cloak - wow, it's getting really hard but then you come to the third example, the third example is a military example and it brings you to the Roman soldier.

In those days, Israel was under the rule of the Roman Empire and Jesus then use this phrase - if anyone forces you to go 1 mile, go with him 2 miles, very interesting scenario in Roman Empire.  You say what's so interesting?  Well, it's found in the word forces - the word forces in the Greek is the word “angareuo” which is actually not a Greek word but a, a word of Persian origin.  You know the world superpower it used to be Babylon then it used to be the Medo Persians, the Greeks, the Romans so this Persian word lasted through time so it during the times of Jesus, they still use this word and this word essentially means a courier system, a courier forces you to go 1 mile, go be a courier for one mile - it's like DHL, FedEx, Ta-Q-Bin, I don't know what else you have in Singapore but those delivery services so in those days they also have delivery services and they used postal systems where someone brings an item from point A to point B and then from point B you go to point C but during the time of the Roman Empire, the Roman soldiers will be the ones that bring this stuff for the, for the king, for Caesar from point A to point B. Sometimes however, they get injured, they are tired, they don't have the resources then the Roman soldier has authority from Roman Empire to get someone, to force a commoner, to go that mile for them because if you say no to the Roman soldier you are actually defying the, the Roman emperor, the Caesar. So the Roman soldiers have this authority to get a commoner to carry their bags, to carry what they're carrying from one point to another and often times it's a reluctant compulsion.

The person doing it will be greatly inconvenienced. Suppose you are playing golf and then this Roman soldier comes and say “Hey, you can't play your golf anymore, you got to do this.” Wah so irritating, aiyoh, it's so bad that we are under Roman rule, that is the likely image conjured when someone says angareuo. So Walter Criswell he's a pastor in old times just maybe a century ago. Walter Criswell gave a story a fictional one but I thought it was rather interesting and I will share. He talks about this Roman soldier who in his courier ministry or courier service met this farmer, a Jewish farmer and he shouted to the Jewish farmer, “Hey you, you Jewish dog, come here, I want you to carry this for me for a mile.” The Jewish farmer had no choice, he had to leave his plot of land, leave his work and go on a detour with this Roman soldier but all along, he was very unhappy, he was cursing under his breath, this Roman Empire is a terrible one, this soldier is a cruel one, I'm so upset having to walk this mile but he did because he had no choice.

At the end of the mile they said farewell to each other, bye, bye, that's it, your job's done and this time the Roman soldier spotted another Jewish man and said to him, “Hey you, you Jewish dog, come, I have a job for you to do, walk with me a mile.” But now this Jewish farmer is very different. The first one is very upset, unhappy, this one is very happy and cheerful.  This one smiled at the Roman soldier and began to be very friendly with the Roman soldier. As they walked this mile, he asked the Roman soldier about his work, about the Roman city, the imperial city, asked him about his family, asked him about his home and he had a wonderful time chatting in this one mile. At the end of this one mile, the Jewish farmer then asked the soldier, “Would you want me to walk with you another mile?” And so they did, they walked the other mile and they bade, they bade each other farewell at the end of it all.  When the Jewish farmer left the soldier, he looked up to heaven and thanked his God in heaven with a praise of, of a, with a song of praise in his heart and it was his evening time, he was walking towards home and nearing his home, his wife and his daughter were preparing dinner. They saw daddy come back and the daughter remarked, “Hey mum, dad's back, look at him, he's so happy, he's singing, he must have done something good today?” And mom said, “Yes dear, your dad is a changed man ever since he learned from the master about the blessedness of the 2nd mile, he is a different man.”

I suppose that story captures what Jesus is teaching.  Everyone would probably be upset at being compelled to do something you do not want to do but the Christian does not exhibit this retaliatory spirit but he's joyful even in the tasks he's been forced to do – example number three.

Example number four is more straight-forward. Example number four is about someone who is your enemy, who has fallen into destitution so it says - give to the one who begs from you and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.  Now obviously in the context, this person who begs from you and borrows from you is your enemy - he's someone who you do not like, someone who has er, who is upset with you but he is now in such a bad state, he is so desperate that he has to come and ask you, and beg from you. He probably has exhausted all his options, all his friends and he has to come to his enemy, you, to ask and to borrow. What do you do?  In Chinese we say we can “Luo Jing Xia Shi” [落井下石] so someone is in the bottom of the well, that's not good enough you throw a big rock and smother him there.  Well, you can do that or according to the words of Jesus, you don't take revenge, you don't say, “Or Bi Guat” [dialect: you deserved it], ha, ha, ha, but you help him, you help the poor, you help your enemy who is poor, you give to him and you lend him.

The question here is this, alright Pastor, I, I can get this non-retaliatory spirit that I would do good, even to my enemies but Pastor is this a verse that says anyone who asks me for something, I have to give? Have you had this question before?  When someone sees and knows that you're Christian, he comes to you say, can you lend me $50?  Can you give me $50? Would you do that?

Well, when I was a young Christian I thought I had to do that!  I still remember after evangelism in, in this area in Orchard, it's now occupied by Ion, this whole massive building but before that it was a, it was a greenery area, it was sloped, I, I remember that time where we share the Gospel in the afternoons and I was going home, going to the MRT station Orchard Boulevard, Orchard MRT station, I was carrying my Bible it was obvious, you know the red borders and so on. Someone came to me and say sir are you a Christian, I say yah I am but that there was like 20 over years ago alright, 20 years ago I think.  I need some money, would you help me with $50?  In my mind I said this guy must be a con man lah but then I said but I'm also a Christian especially I'm carrying a Bible, very hard to say no leh so I struggled within myself, I think Christians should be nice people, Christians should be helpful people so I said OK, I'll help you.  I took out my wallet, I opened it and I said to him, sorry, I've no money. But I was sincere in wanting to help so I said, would you, would you follow me now?  We are at the train platform so it's after the gantry part, alright, I'm at the train platform. I said, would you follow me I will go upstairs, you go with me, we will go upstairs, I will go to the ATM and draw money. Wah, I think looking back, that was dangerous man, he could have asked me 500, I might have given him 500. Would you go with me and the man says?  He actually said, no, and he scooted away you say why, why did he walk away?  Why did he run away, actually?  He thought that I was so smart, I think lah, on hindsight, I think, he must have thought that I was so smart to lure him upstairs and bring him to the station manager,  when actually I have no clue, I thought that as a Christian whoever asked me for something, I will have to give.

Now, anyone of you like that, anyone of you believe that?  Hey, you raise your hand, I'm going to look for you later, you know. Now it actually happens, it happens in many churches people come in to church, they ask for money, it happens every time but is this really what God is saying here, that you had to give to everyone, no, I don't think so at all. Now certainly a Christian should be generous, should help the poor and certainly a Christian must not have a vengeful spirit in holding back what is necessary for the other person but I don't think Christians are to give blindly or irresponsibly. For example, in second Thessalonians we're told, for even when we were with you, we would give you this command, if anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. So you don't allow a person to be indulging in his maybe laziness, slothfulness, irresponsibility, by all means help the guy, but don't indulge and give irresponsibly but I think this is a side issue, we must stick to what the whole theme is about.  Jesus in this passage is teaching non-retaliation.  He's teaching us - do not resist the one who is evil, the one who has given you grief, He's restoring us to a proper understanding of the will of God that is already captured in the Old Testament that if your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. If we are all honest with ourselves, if you really understand this principle, we would all say, oh no, I, I've, I've blown it so many times in my life.  We would all say oh, this is impossible because, think about it right now, think of your enemy, do you have an enemy - think of someone you don't like, think about that person now, alright, in your heads, someone you really are disgusted with, maybe it's your boss, like I said, maybe, maybe a colleague who back-stabbed you, it maybe your husband who has been irritating you, your wife, who has failed you, it might be a church brother or sister, a church friend who you are at loggerheads with it, maybe your enemy and think about that, not only must you not be angry or vengeful, you must help the other person, it's very hard. Maybe it's your mother-in-law I don't know. As we all say, maybe one of these people but wow, this is an incredibly high standard.

I feel it in my own life. I always operated on the principle of Mohamed Ali, really, if you do something bad to me, I'll make sure you get it, at least that was how I thought. I remember in primary school, I would fight almost every day - either in my class during recess time or in the school bus. I'd recall the times where I'll rip off the pocket from my friend's shirt, fight, fight, fight, “kiak” wah, the whole pocket dangling there. Too bad, who asked you to hit me first? I'd recall those days I will punch my friends, I'll throw them around. Like I told you, I was a bigger size guy when I was young now somehow karma, no, ok, no such things, hah, but somehow I became smaller but when I was younger I was bigger. I'll throw people around, I'll punch them. I'll punch them till they can't breathe and I recall one of my good friends in primary school, I punched him till his teeth fell out, that was so terrible but it's all because I believe an eye for an eye, he didn't hit my tooth but I gave him a tooth anyway, a tooth for a tooth. When I grew older, things never really changed, I, would still retaliate when people insult me or crack jokes about me, I'll fight back with words. Get older I drive, when someone drives terribly, I will give him a death stare, make sure he knows it and I'm even mean to my own wife because I think she failed or she didn't do something according to my expectations and I give an eye for an eye, even for my wife. That's why there will be quarrels and so on and so forth.

Now which of you, which of you have never ever taken vengeance on anyone?  Reality - all of us have!  All of us have been selfish, proud, self-protecting.  None of us, none of us could say we have kept to God's will consistently in our lives. You can't even do this for your wife or your husband.

I was reading the Bible with my kids just two, three nights ago and it's a picture Bible and we come to one of the most crucial scenes in the Bible - the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. So I asked my sons, “When Jesus was on the cross, what did He say?” They kept silent. They didn't know what He said so I said, “Shawn and Matthias, Jesus on the cross, said kill them, kill them” and you know what their response is, at least for Shawn, he says, “No, how can you insult Jesus, I'm going to tell the pastors.” Well, that's what Shawn said to me, I said, “Sorry, sorry Shawn, that's not what Jesus said.” Obviously Jesus didn't say, kill them, what did Jesus say, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

The Bible says in first Peter - He committed no sin.  Now He was unfairly, unjustly sentenced to the cross. He committed absolutely no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth but when He was reviled, mocked, scorned, He did not revile in return.  When He suffered, He did not threaten but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly. In other words, Jesus did not retaliate, even in the worst of situations. None of us could live up to the standard of God's will except Jesus Christ. He was mocked, He was scourged, He was tried, He was abused, He was crucified but at no point was He vengeful towards the people who did that to Him. Instead on the cross Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” and the Bible tells us why because Christ suffered for you.

My friends this is the Gospel, this is the good news of the Bible. The Bible's key message, main message is not telling you to obey God, to be a nice guy, to never take revenge so that when you're able to do quite a reasonable standard of that, God will perhaps love you, save you, accept you. No, in fact the Bible is of a very clear standard, that anyone who does not live up to the standard God has is considered a sinner, there is none righteous, no not one but the Bible tells us of a hero, the true hero who has fulfilled every detail of God's laws.  A true hero who never was vengeful for personal agenda – that hero is Jesus Christ and He suffered on the cross so that with His sufferings, He would pay for your sins, He suffered for you and all the righteousness He has lived out and earned in His life is given to those who are sinners and I say to you today, the message of the Bible therefore is not: be good so that God will accept you and save you.  The message of the Bible is: acknowledge you are no good and bow at the foot of the cross, repent of your sins, believe in Jesus who suffered and died for you. That's the Gospel, that's how you can be changed, that's how you can be saved. Jesus is the Saviour, not you.

Perhaps you have been in church for a long time.  It doesn't matter how long you have been in church, what matters is do you believe in Jesus as your Saviour?  Now if you believe in Jesus today, that's not all there is, alright because here in first Peter, we are told that Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example so that you might follow in His steps so yes, we don't have to obey the law in order to be saved. We believe in Jesus in order to be saved but after you believe in Jesus, after you come to know Christ as your Saviour, well you say, “I want to obey the Lord, I want to live like Christ, I want to follow His example, I want to walk in His footsteps but Pastor it's very difficult to forgive my husband, it's very difficult to be nice to my colleague who is so mean to me, it's very difficult not to take revenge, Pastor, how to do this?” and I think you're right, it's very difficult so let me try to make it helpful to you in how you can follow the footsteps of Jesus in living a non-retaliatory kind of a life, not always perfect but this is what the Scriptures teach so let me use my whiteboard.

I want to refer to a sermon, you have heard a few weeks back.  It's a sermon about the temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4 verses 1 to 11.  I mentioned that in our fight against temptation, you need three principles, you need these three alright, er two not three won't work, one out of three won't work, you need all three so what are the three principles?

Number one, when Jesus faced the temptation that the devil brought, He always quoted or He always said, “it is written” so if you want to fight against sin, you want to be successful against temptation you need to be, number one, directed by the Word of God, very simple you need to know what God's Word says. “Jesus, turn the stones into bread”, well Jesus says, “man, it is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” so He was directed by the Word of God.  Some of you may then say, but I know what the Bible says but I don't find the motivation to do it, I don't really want to do it. You know why, because you lack element or principle number two.

What is principal number two?  It is this - not only must you be directed by the Word of God, you must delight in the, I let you guess, in the, you must delight, you must be ravished, you must be thrilled, you must be filled with the?  Jonathan is right.  I think you must be delighting in the love of God.  You must be assured in your relationship with God. Jesus knew that He was a son, He is the Son and likewise, if you want to successfully fight against temptation, what motivates you is the love of God.  Someone said, religion says if we change, God will love us - that's bad religion, that's bad religion!  That's not what the Bible says, that's not what the Gospel is about.  Every bad religion says you change yourself then God will love you. No, the Bible, the Gospel actually says, God loves bad people.  God loves sinners, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us but the amazing power of the Gospel - the good news of Jesus is that the Gospel tells us this love of God changes us. When I know how much God loves me, I love Him.  We love Him because He first loved us and when we love God, when we are delighting in the love of God, we say, “Lord, I want to serve you, I want to honour you, I want to obey your Word.” So this is big, this is important it's all about the motivation, the reason why we do what we do so a Christian will be able to live a life of holiness, if He knows what God's Word says and He is regularly drinking in being assured drawing from the deep love of God, his heart is so ravished, so filled, so thrilled in the love of God, he says Lord, I love you and I will not take revenge, you see that - the love of God.

Lastly, what do you need, so I need to know what to do, I need to be motivated by the love of God and then thirdly, you need to repent, sorry, depend, okay, so you know my pattern, all DDD so you need to depend, depend what?  In the promise of God, probably will be Word of God, I will link it there, yup, depend, excellent, you must depend on the Spirit of God.

I think Jesus gave us that example.  The Bible records for us Jesus was led of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil for 40 days.  The Bible also tells us everything Jesus did He did in the power of the Holy Spirit. If Jesus needed the power of the Holy Spirit so do we. You see, many Christians try to fight temptation in their own strength, you are sure to fail. That's why we need to pray, that's why we need to look to God and say, Lord, help me this I really feel like killing my neighbour but I'm directed by Your Word not to - I love you and that's why I don't want to, please help me in Your Spirit to have that love, help me in Your Spirit to have that patience, may the fruit of the Spirit be seen in me that I may love him and not kill him. You need this, these three you see.

Someone said to return good for good is natural.  Every one of us could do that - if you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you it's common sense but to return good for evil is supernatural and that's why you need the power of the Holy Spirit alright.

Now, let's put it down, let's go to where the rubber meets the road and that is maybe in your marriage, if this might apply to colleagues, this might apply to friends but let me put it in marriage. How many of you quarrel with your wife or your husband, can I see by a show of hands?  So few, aiyah then never mind, I don't talk lah, come on! How many of you never quarrel with your husband and wife? If you don't you are probably dead. Why do we fight?  Why do we argue?  You know why?  You know why because when your husband say something mean to you, you “beh-song” [hokkien: not happy] already, right?  Hmmm, how can you say that and so immediately you think of something more mean to say to, to him and you prrrrr..wah, usually the wife is very good at history and she can bring out all the stories of days gone by. You remember when we were secondary school, you did this, you said this and tatatatata…. and the husband gets agitated and he replies even louder, with more details and so the quarrel gets more and more animated, louder and meaner because you want the other person to suffer, an eye for an eye, then after that, the eye become a bigger eye, in a and so you, it gets worse and worse you fight.  The reason you quarrel fundamentally is because you want vengeance, you want in your sense, justice to be done. You want her to learn the lesson, you want him to suffer. Now sometimes you argue until you're, you give up, you're so frustrated, haiz…every time we talk, always argue so you now switch to another tactic you give “bo chap” [hokkien: ignore], you, what we call this, cold shoulder, cold war or cold shoulder.

Now I show this picture because this is so fascinating. This is about this man called Otou Katayama and his wife, Yumi Katayama. I read that they before this candid capture or film huh, someone arranged for them to meet actually to, to at least work towards reconciliation. Before this scene, they had, they're married but they had not spoken to each other for 20 years. Their kids are all grown up but they have not spoken to each other for 20 years, you know why? Because the husband was upset that the wife loves the kids more than him!  It's fascinating. The desire for vengeance is strong.  I want you to pay for this. For neglecting me,  I'm going to ignore you for 20 years. Wow… so what do you do?  If you today are in a difficult marital relationship, office relationship, church relationship, what do you do?  How can you break free?   I say you need the Word of God.  You need the love of God and you need the Spirit of God.

Let me work this through with you.  You need to know the Word of God, you need to know that if you are today upset with another brother in church, you're upset with your husband who did something bad to you - you have to remember Matthew 5:39 that says……but I say unto you, that you resist not the evil one.  Don't do it, so  number one, I got to know what's God's standard is. God's will is, don't do it.

In fact the Bible is very clear the Word of God guides me, directs me. Leviticus 19:18, for example, to love my neighbour, including my wife, my church mate, this is the clear will of God - you've got to be sure this is what God wants. Many people can't forgive because they feel this person is beyond hope lah. God will understand if I hate him. No God's will, unchangeably so, alright. So be very clear what does God's Word say but beyond that you, you, you, you need more than just what is the direction, you need to be delighting in the love of God and that's why it's so important to be centered in the Gospel because the Gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ dying and rising to save us from our sins. The Gospel is a message of deep unconditional love, that's why I say to you when you read the Bible, go to the Gospel, see God's love in the cross because the deeper you understand this love of God, the more you have the motivation to obey God and to honour God. So when you understand the love of God in the Gospel, you understand that you are forgiven of your sins. That's what happened in the past.  That is going to last till the day you die but it began in the past in that God has forgiven you all your sins. Amazing, you who have done so many wrongs against God, you have sinned against God, God says, “I forgive you, I love you, I saved you unconditionally because you're so loved, won't you forgive him? Forgive your husband not because he deserves it.” You can say, “My “ah lau” [dialect: husband], useless one lah [Singlish slang] every day don't do anything, useless, why should I love him?  Why should I forgive him?” - because of God, not because of him- because you're forgiven much, you forgive the other.

Now not only because of that but because in the present, you know God's love for you means that all things will work together for good to them that love God - Romans 8:28 because you love God and because God loves you.  You know that even in this bad relationship, God has His purpose and plan for His people, for the Christian.  He loves you and then I think for the future, I can trust God as in 1st Peter 2:23- what we looked at just now. How did Jesus endure the cross?  How did Jesus endure the mocking?  Well He entrusted Himself to the Father who judges justly. You know one of the reasons why you can't forgive someone, one of the reasons why you want to exact vengeance on someone is because you feel that if you don't do anything about it, there's no justice!  I need to take justice into my own hands. You know what God says, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” So you trust God.  You got to trust God and trust Him that He will repay.  There is hope of glory for you and why would you fight you know when kids fight wah they fight over little things, why like we are like that, why would we fight over a  little bit of face, a little bit of this, a little bit of that when we know that in the future we are going to have the glory that is to come so when you know God's love for you, you say, “I want to honour God I don't need to fight” and then you can depend on the Spirit of God.  For example, Galatians 5:16, Romans 8:2 tells us that we won't need to live in sin, if we look to the Spirit we pray and we say God help me live out this life of holiness. I know it's complicated, so many points but I, I think these are the principles that should run through a Christian's mind, in temptations alright.

Now, let's say your kid fights.  Er this is, this is easily a scene I see almost every day between Shawn and Matthias.  You know, typically we would say, “Kids don't fight it's wrong to fight, I cane you when you fight.” Now you can say that but I think they need more than that, especially if one of them or both of them trust in Jesus Christ, I would tell them that hey Shawn, love Matthias.  Shawn will tell me cannot lah [singlish exclamation] Matthias really very bad already, cannot, he's not lovely at all. I say yeah it's true, Matthias is not lovely sometimes but he's lovely other times but that's besides the point.  The point here is that God tells you to love your neighbour, your enemy and Matthias is your enemy, Matthias is your neighbour, Matthias is your brother, you have to love Matthias, Shawn, don't take revenge, the fact that he spoilt your Lego toy doesn't mean you can take his toy and throw it out of the window, this is what God's Word says but I don't want!  Shawn, remember God's love for you, love Matthias, not because Matthias is worthy or Matthias is nice to you. Sometimes he will be, I hope that encourages you but even if he is not, remember how God loves you, how God gave His Son to die for you.  Shawn trust that God is using Matthias even for a good purpose in your life and Shawn you have heaven.  You have heaven! Why fight over the Lego toy when you can have heaven.  Now of course my son is not going to comprehend all these things but these are things that you know it's helpful for him to know truth and then I say Shawn- Shawn will say but I really cannot, he is too difficult already, cannot. I know Matthias is difficult and that's why you have to trust in the Holy Spirit in you to do so.

Let me give you another run through. Why would people go and commit road rage. Why because I dare say it's a failure of one or all of these points. The guy who is giving road rage is probably thinking it is okay, it is right to give an eye for an eye or the guy who is in road rage is so filled with anger he doesn't know that he's deeply loved by God or number three, he knows these things but he's not looking to the Holy Spirit to help him, that's why you need these three.

Now again you say, “Pastor this is haiz… this is really difficult. I can't understand. I can't put all this together and moreover in road rage, it happens so fast, how to think points 12345678910.  Pastor you're not very realistic, not very” But I say I think that's what I read in the Bible, it may be very fast but you need to still know this.  You say how?  Well I was thinking of how to illustrate this and I thought about my favourite sports today and that's badminton.  I love Badminton.  I play it on a regular basis. It is really one of my delights on earth and badminton is quite a complex game right?  Not easy to play if you want to play, I mean if you want to “tick-tock-tick-tock” easy la but if you want to play a bit more energetically, dynamically it's not so easy. The shots can come in all kinds of shapes, flights and so on. So to do badminton a complicated game well, actually it's quite simple. You just need to know three fundamentals in my mind alright, I'm not a coach but I think if you get these three things right, you're going to be a pretty good player.

Number one, you got to get your footwork right.  You got to know how to move in court.  If you play badminton like this, you sure die la or you run like that one, so cute ah, so ineffective you'll lose so you need to know how to move, you need to have good footwork, how to go, where to go!  You got to get that right.

Number two, even if you're the fastest mover on court but you can't hit the shuttle for nuts you, you don't know how to hold the racket at the top or I do not know what you won't be able to play good badminton.  You need to have the good racket work and in a number three, even if you know how to move, you have the right skill, you need to have the right physical fitness right?  You need these three things, otherwise you'll “pung-jek” [dialect: tire out] very fast, you're too slow. So if you want to be a good badminton player, what do coaches do?  They train you by giving you drills!  What are drills?  Very simple la - I see how they coach - a guy stands there, take a bunch of shuttles and then he just do this, he throws then the other guy who's training just hit the same shot, over and over, same shot you know, not like wow I learned this, I go another one very fast, no, no, a long time. Keep throwing, keep throwing, keep throwing, keep throwing, I think hit like 50, 100 shuttles, ok now change.  Do footwork, do this, do this, do this, whole life do this, then after that, they combine the two – throw shuttle, you do this, hit, throw shuttle, you do this, hit and they combine it and after a while, after many, many, many drills, the amazing thing is that in live game, the shuttle comes really fast but because of all the drills you're so sharp, so good at your footwork, your racket work, you're fit, you hit the shuttle, you come back and you're ready for the next one.  Now do you have time to think?  No, very fast but all that speed is acquired as you go – many, many drills.

Wah, this one alot ah - that's why you need to thank God for a irritating husband because your irritating husband always love your neighbour, love your neighbour, love your neighbour, love your neighbour!  That's what it is.  I need to drink in God's love, I need to drink in God's love, I need to, see his face, I need to go to the Bible, see his face, I need to read the Gospel - that's what it is.  That's what your spouse is supposed to do.  Well at least that's what your spouse can, you can see your spouse as a blessing in your life, in that it forces you, he or she forces you to check your own heart that we can be so vindictive, angry and it forces us to know God's Word, to know God's love and to depend on God's Spirit.  I think that's how at least in my life, it runs through in my head in what it means to follow Jesus.  Badminton drills all the time. Wow the car cut me here you go, practise that.  John in church still said that about me, well here you go, more drills - that's life. That's Christian growth.

I was struggling with this sermon actually I'm coming to an end, I'm sorry I took so long, don't, don't take revenge on me but I was struggling with some parts of the sermon but okay, I was finishing at 12 and just before I ended, I saw this post on social media.  It was a post about the 911 attack the terrorist attack on the twin towers in World Trade Center New York some 16 years ago. Now of course after this terrorist attack that building site is now called Ground Zero where it's a burnt-out site and a story is said that a man, a fireman as he walked through the burnt-out site found a steel frame that was fused with a Bible page, fascinating! You can still find this in the 911 Memorial Museum today and of all the passages and pages of the Bible, the page that was seen is the text that you have read this morning - retaliation you have heard that it has been said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth but I say unto you, that ye resist not evil.

I say to you today, God did not just leave behind a page in a steel frame at 911 but God left His Spirit in you and He has given you a new heart. He has given you all things that pertain to life and godliness, living out the law of God's was an impossible ideal before you came to know Christ but if you today have repented and believed in Jesus, I say to you by His grace, you can live a godly Christ-like life as He puts you through the drills of life and you know what I think that's what glorifies God. When people see you return evil with good, wow!  If we are a church, a community that would love our neighbours in an unconditional radical way, won't they see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven. I think that's what Christianity is all about, let's follow Jesus today.

Let's bow for a word of prayer together. Father again, thank You for this time, many things to think about and I pray that You bless each one here. Again for those who do not know Jesus as yet, I ask that they would repent and believe in Christ. They would know that salvation is not what they can achieve but what is received at the foot of the cross so dear Lord, show them their helplessness and sinfulness and then show them the marvel and grace of Jesus Your Son. I pray for our church that each one of us here who is a believer would cry out, Lord, let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me. May I today regularly study the Word of God, may I regularly drink in the love of God, looking into the Gospel through the pages of Your Word and may I regularly look and depend upon the Spirit of God, thank You and we pray  all this now in Jesus' Name, amen.

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