Understanding the Sabbath and the Fifth Commandment
 
01:40
Once again, good morning, and thank you for joining us in our journey through the book of Deuteronomy. We are looking at the fifth commandment today, and I start with something a teacher said, “The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the parents, and the parents are afraid of the children, and the children are afraid of no one.” We live in a day and age where things have changed quite a lot. When I was growing up, I was fearful, I was respectful towards my teachers, my parents. But I think this is fading, or this is getting rarer nowadays.
 
The Bible does tell us that this is maybe a sign of the times. 2 Timothy tells us,
 
In the last days, there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self… (2 Timothy 3:1-2)
 
I mean, you see that all over on social media, isn't it? Lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy. And it is in such a context that we deeply appreciate what God has given long, long time ago at Mount Sinai, the Ten Commandments. We today come to Deuteronomy, chapter 5 and verse 16, the fifth commandment,
 
Honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God has commanded you that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)
 
We have journeyed the past four commandments in the past four weeks. We come to number five, and I'd like to remind you of all five of them. Number one, you shall have no other gods. Number two, you shall not bow down before graven images. Number three, that's right. Remember, do not take God's name in vain. Number four, very good. I see that some action, the rest of you sleeping still, but some of you understand number four is it's a day for rest. Keep the Sabbath day. And number five, honor your father and your mother.
 
The Meaning of Honoring Parents
 
So very quickly, let's dive right into the fifth commandment today. Three things I like to share, very fast, very short, succinct, I hope so. Let's come to number one, the explanation of what it means to honor your father and your mother. The word in a Hebrew is the word ‘kavet’, which means literally, ‘to make heavy’. Now I'm not saying, the Bible is not saying, feed your parents until they're heavy. But ‘to make heavy’ means you view them as weighty. Because in ancient times, things are valued according to their weight. Actually, even now too. If you buy gold or precious stones, they charge you according to the weight. So ‘to make heavy’ means to see your parents as very precious, valuable that you esteem them, you honor them, you regard well about them, you value them. Now I think this is something that Chinese perhaps we might be familiar with, because we value this virtue called ‘xiao shun’, or ‘filial piety’. The word ‘xiao’, (some laughter from the congregation). I know it always sounds bad in Hokkien, but the word ‘xiao’ is a good word, all right. It is actually made of two words, ‘lao’ and ‘zi’. And ‘lao’ is the aged ones, generally referring to your parents, and ‘zi’ refers to offspring. And you put the ‘lao’ above the ‘zi’, not the ‘zi’ above the ‘lao’. So in other words, you see that your parents are above you, over you, more important than you. You esteem them, you value them, you respect them, you honor them.
 
And notice the Bible doesn't say, ‘Honor your capable father and mother.’ The Bible also doesn't say, ‘Honor your educated father and mother.’ The Bible doesn't say, ‘Honor your nice father and mother.’ The Bible doesn't say, ‘Honor your perfect father and mother.’ There are no qualifiers. Simply honor your parents. You honor them not because of their performance. You honor them because of their position. God has placed them over you, and you honor them because God said so. It doesn't matter who they are, how they've done. It doesn't matter who you are and how you've done.
 
There's a story spoken of by Laura Bush, the wife of the former US President George Bush. They went back to his parents' place for an overnight stay, and this is what she wrote. George woke up at 6am as usual, and went downstairs to get a cup of coffee, and he sat down on the sofa with his parents and put his feet up. And all of a sudden, his mom, Barbara, yelled, “Put your feet down!” George's dad replied, “For goodness sake, Barbara, he's the President of the United States.” She replied, “I don't care. I don't want his feet on my table.” And George Bush immediately put down his feet. And then Barbara remarked, “Even presidents have to listen to their mothers.” It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter how well you scored in your PSLE. It doesn't matter how smart you think you are, you simply, according to the Bible, honor your parents. Place them over you, esteem them, respect them, think well of them, view them as valuable and precious.
 
The Excellence of Honoring Parents
 
But let's move on. I'd like us also in this command to observe the excellence that God attributes to this command. He says, “It's a good thing for you to keep this command.” Because he says,
 
Honor your father and your mother as the Lord your God commanded you that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)
 
So God is saying in general, that it will go well with you if you are to honor your parents. Now the apostle Paul in the New Testament took notice of this promise when he quoted from it in Ephesians chapter 6. He said,
 
Honor your father and mother…(Ephesians 6:2)
 
He goes on to mention the promise,
 
that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. (Ephesians 6:3)
 
And he emphasized this is
 
…the first commandment with a promise. (Ephesians 6:2)
 
So he is highlighting what Moses wrote, that it is a good thing for you to honor your parents, because God promises good to you. Now I think this is where I would say. I don't think this is a promise that is applicable to every specific situation, because there are people who would die young, even though they are obedient. It doesn't mean that you are immune from dying early. But this is a general principle that you may and you may. In other words, it's a little bit like the Proverbs. You have a general promise of well being when you honor your parents as God commands you. On the other hand, and when you read the Old Testament, you will see many judgments, and how God will call upon judgment for those who would dishonor their parents. We see in Exodus 21.
 
Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to death. (Exodus 21:15)
 
This is serious, according to the rules of Israel in the times of Moses and
 
Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death…(Leviticus 20:9)
 
I wonder how many of our children would still be alive if they lived in Israel. Well, there is a very graphic description elsewhere in Deuteronomy 21.
 
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives. (Deuteronomy 21:18-19)
 
The elders are the leaders of the city. They meet at the gates because that's where a lot of businesses take place, transactions take place as merchants come in and out. Bring them or bring him to the elders.
 
And they shall say to the elders of his city, this, our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. (Deuteronomy 21:20)
 
And the Bible says,
 
Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear and fear. (Deuteronomy 21:21)
 
So this is serious. The regard that God has for this command is high. It's important the judgment is not less than the sin against God in blasphemy.
 
If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness. (Proverbs 20:20)
 
I think that's a euphemism for someone who will die.
 
12:07
The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. (Proverbs 30:17)
 
So if you look at your parents with ‘tsk’ (disapproval), you know that look ‘tsk’. Eye pluck out, eaten by the ravens and the vultures. So there are severe warnings. You clearly could sense God's displeasure for those who dishonor their parents. But God says it will be good for you to honor your parents. It is good for you to do so.
 
The Practical Implications of Honoring Parents
 
I think God blesses people who honor their parents. I think that is possible in this text, but it is also equally true that you are blessed when you honor your parents, because God gave parents for your blessings anyway. Your parents are given by God as gifts to you, to benefit you. First of all, they guard you. They guard you from all kinds of harm and danger, isn't it? Your parents guard you from the hot stove. Your parents guard you from the electrical sockets. Your parents guard you from germs on the floor when you drop your food. Your parents guard you from unwholesome friends and unhealthy influences on social media. Your parents guard you from dangers and harm. Your parents also guide you. They teach you values and principles and skills for life. Your parents teach you. And I think there's one thing that is important, but maybe not talked about in secular society, and that is your parents also grow you in the understanding of submission to authority.
 
Now this is important. Let me say that commandment number five is unique in that people generally do not really know where to put commandment number five. Should it be at the first table of the law or the second table of the law? You know that there are two tables. Moses received the Ten Commandments in two tables. Jesus spoke about the Ten Commandments summarized into two laws, loving God and loving man. So the two tables we think would reflect loving God and loving man. I think that would be the assumption we take. But the question now is, where does the Fifth Commandment fit? First table, loving God or second table, loving man? If it is first table, then you have five on one side, five on the other. If it's on the second table, then you have four on one side and six on the other. So which one? You all like to be balanced, right? Not ‘shiok’ it's four, six. You like five, five right? Now, I think superficially, we might think that honoring your parents would fit the second table, because it's about people, but there is also proper justification to think that honoring your parents can be in the first table like as in such a case. Now it's not because you want it to be balanced. That's maybe not such a good reason. But that people see that honoring your father and mother is foundational to learning what it means to honor your God, because the first figures of authority you will see once you are born into this world are your parents. And your parents are like God-like representatives in your life, and God wants you to learn submission to your parents so that you can learn submission to God.
 
It was Martin Luther who says, “Out of the authority of parents, all other authority is derived and developed.” If you cannot learn to honor your parents at home, you will not honor your teachers in school. You will not be able to honor your sergeants in the army. You will not be able to honor your boss at work. You will not be able to honor your government in the country, and you will not be able to honor your husband because you have not learned what it means to submit to authority. It is from the authority of parents that all other kinds of authority will be developed. This quote next is not 100% sure is from Shakespeare, William Shakespeare. But it may be, we are not sure. I tried to search. The answer is inconclusive, but he said, this also not sure. Okay. “The voice of parents is the voice of gods. For to their children, they are heavenly lieutenants.” A bit ‘chim’ (difficult to understand) lah. Shakespeare is like that one lah. But well, you hear the voice of your parents, you learn later on to hear the voice of God, to obey them.
 
And there's this writer pastor today, Andreas Kostenberger. He says, “The primary importance of obedience is not for parents to receive their children's obedience.” Now I do find it a lot easier if my children obey. But he's saying, “The real importance of their obedience is not just that I receive their obedience, but for parents to help children to learn to exercise obedience ultimately in their relationship with God.” He is saying why the Fifth Commandment should therefore be in the first table, because when you learn to honor your father and mother, you then learn to honor your God. So it is a really, really good thing, excellent thing, if you learn to honor your parents, because God blesses you, and also because in this honoring of parents, you are in the realm of blessings, where God, through your parents, guard you, guide you and grow you in submission to authority.
 
So God's laws are good. This law is good, and indeed, all the laws are good. In fact, that's what Deuteronomy 5:29 would say, isn't it?
 
Oh, that they had such a heart as this always to fear me and to keep all My commandments that it might go well with them. (Deuteronomy 5:29)
 
This is the right way to live, the best way to live. So in the short time we've had, we looked at what honor means. It's to ‘kavet’, to make weighty, to respect, to esteem, to value your parents, regardless of their performance, but because God placed them over you. Number two, we learned about the excellence of this honoring of your parents. It is a good and right thing to do so.
 
Practical Ways to Honor Parents
 
But I would like to close with some very practical thoughts on how this honoring of parents will not just remain attitudinal, but actionable, it will be practical. It will be expressed. How does this honoring of my parents display itself in concrete ways in life? Story is told of three sons who decided to go overseas to work and make it big. They left their mom behind here in Singapore, and when they went out there, they succeeded in all that they have to do. They are wealthy, and they are now ready to come back to take care of mum. But before they came back, they all decided to give a gift to mom to show their appreciation for her. So the first son decided to buy for her a nice big Mercedes-Benz with a chauffeur attached. The second son, Richard, bought for her a mansion for her to live in. The third son, hearing what the two other brothers did, said, “Aiya, ko-ko (elder brothers), you all cannot make it lah. I've got you beat this time. You all do not know Mum. Mum loves the Bible, but she is getting old and can't read very well, so I got for her a parrot, a special parrot that has memorized the whole Bible. It took our elders 12 years to train the parrot, and all you need to do is to say the chapter and the verse reference, and the parrot will quote the Bible verse for her.” So they all gathered with mom for dinner, and mom said, “I'm so happy you are back.” But to the first son, she said, “You sent me a nice Mercedes-Benz, but I am so old, I don't go out. It's a waste. Moreover, the chauffeur is so rude, I don't like him.” To the second son, she said, “This house is very nice, very big, but I only stay in one room, and now I have to clean the whole house.” To the third son, she said, “Son, you're the one who knows me best. I love your gift. The chicken was delicious.” (laughter from the congregation)
 
21:51
If you want to honor your parents, you got to know what they really want. So what do your parents want? What is it that we can do to love and to honor our parents? Three things I think we can see in the scriptures. Number one, I think we need to submit to our parents. It is seen here in Ephesians,
 
Children, obey your parents… (Ephesians 6:1)
 
The word ‘obey’ in the Greek, because Ephesians is in the New Testament is written in the Greek, is the word ‘hupakouó’ which means ‘to listen under’ or ‘to listen or hearken to the commands.’ So very simply, what it means to honor your parents is you listen to the commands and you do as they tell you to do. You ‘hupakouó’, you obey your parents. You do as they as they tell you to do. Now, some of you may say, “What if they tell me to do sinful things?” Now, of course, the ‘kavet’ then is that you don't obey your parents in that particular deed and act, you obey God rather than man. You do not obey your parents to sin against God, but otherwise you obey your parents. And notice again, it doesn't say obey your parents who are good, who are wise, who are smart, who got better grades in school. You simply obey your parents. And the motivation there is because you do it in the Lord, for this is right. So you don't do it because of your parents per se, but you do it because of God. Because a lot of us, we may say, “Oh, I know God tells me to honor my parents, but my parents, I cannot make it people. They don't deserve it. I should not obey them.” I think you got to really think about the second clause here.
 
You obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)
 
It has nothing again to do with their performance, but everything to do in their, with their position that God has placed over you. You see, if you don't understand this, you will not know what real submission is, because a lot of people today struggle with submission. They submit only if they think their superior or the people that God has placed over them is making all the right decisions. But what is right is sometimes very subjective, isn't it? You submit, now you can voice your opinions, you can share your views, you can persuade as much as you can, but at the end of the day, unless it is a matter of sin, whatever they decide is what you submit to. That's what obedience means. So a lot of times you have the battle of sexes at home, because the wife thinks, “I will submit to you as long as you make wise decisions.” Sometimes your husband cannot make it lah. I know that I cannot make it many times, but I think that's what submission is. That when you don't quite see eye to eye, and you don't quite trust that it's the right direction, but your husband insists that's the right direction, you… so soft, wow so little conviction. You… ‘gan gan shuo’ (say boldly in Mandarin), you submit. Why? For this is right. “That's the order”, God said. Now, of course, the husbands must not take that and say, “I have the blank check. I have the hammer to whack my wife every time she disobeys me or she doesn't want to follow, I just take out the Bible and whack her head.”  Now that's not what you should do. But I think on the wife's side, on the employee side, on the citizen side, on the child side, we should all learn the principle of submission. We don't have a perfect government, for sure, but we learn to submit. We learn to obey. We pay our taxes. We pray for our government. That's the right thing to do, and so it is for children to obey your parents.
 
Now I know some of you have been raised in very difficult families. You do not have great parents. In fact, you have terrible parents, even by earthly standards. They are abusive. They have abused you, and they are filled with anger. They are filled with bitterness. And I understand that. But I'm appealing to you not to treat your parents based on how they have treated you, but to treat your parents based on how God has treated you, how God has given His Son for you, how God has forgiven you of your sins when he sent His Son to die for you, and on account of what God has done, obey your parents. This has nothing to do with whether your parents deserve it. Again, I say it's not based on their performance, but it's based on the position God has given. This is right. And this obedience is not a reluctant one, hopefully, because it should spring from a heart of honor. Now there's a frequently asked question that says, “Do I have to really obey my parents all my life?” I mean, I understand when I'm five years old, ten years old, fifteen years old, but now that I'm fifty years old, do I still obey my parents? Fifty already, still obey or not? “Ah boy, go eat your dinner.” “Yes, Mom”. Did you do that? Actually I'm 50 already, I don't behave like that. Okay. Okay. Do you have to obey your parents? Yes ah? Okay, all right, I guess so. But I want to say I don't think you are going to obey your parents the same way you obeyed them when you were 10 or 15, especially when you are married and you have formed your own household. For in Genesis 2, it says,
 
For this purpose, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. (Genesis 2:24)
 
I do see that you don't and you should not really obey your parents in everything, especially when now you are leading your own family. But I want to say, though you may not obey them in all the details, when to bathe, what to eat, and so on, you are to honor them all your life. So I have this chart. I can't google this chart. This is my own imagination, whether it's biblically right or wrong, you all can tell me after the service, okay? But this is how I see it. I see that when a child comes into this world, when he's young, he must learn to obey his parents. He may not fully honor his parents. He doesn't quite get the concept, but he knows he's to obey. But over time, as he grows older and older and older and older and older and older, this obedience frequency and intensity actually drops over time, but not that he's rebellious. Because as a child grows from a little bit of understanding about honor, as he grows and develops, he should learn to honor his parents more and more and more over time. You get the graph? My action can? Okay, my action cannot, then you see the graph. I ask ChatGPT to draw. I can't find in the internet. I asked ChatGPT to draw. I tell ChatGPT, “ Do you think it's correct to say that obedience drops and honor…? “Yeah.” he says, “Okay, okay, okay, I draw.” So I think this is just a diagrammatic expression of what I'm trying to say. We honor our parents all our life, even if you're 80 years old, you honor your parents. But I don't think you are called to obey your parents in everything to the same degree and detail like you were when you were younger. But let not this reduction in obedience be an excuse to not honor. In fact, you should honor more.
 
And I think practically, that's how it is. Obedience to parents, it really drops over time. Honoring of parents grows over time. And yeah, in my family, I see this honor and obedience drop a lot when it's between 10 to 20 years old, I suppose. But I hope over time it grows back up, especially after 18 years old, or when they hit 18, when they go NS( National Service), then they start to appreciate their parents a bit more. But that's my journey in my life. I appreciate my parents more as I enter adulthood. I appreciate what they've done, and maybe when I was younger, I took them for granted.
 
31:46
So honor your parents and Colossians 3:20 tells us
 
Children obey your parents in everything…(Colossians 3:20)
 
From the time you are called to bathe to the time you should stop your computer games to the time you should have your meals. You obey your parents in everything, unless he is calling you to sin against God, okay? And you do it because this pleases the Lord. Again, the motivation is God-centered, not parent-centered.
 
The Role of Support in Honoring Parents
 
So how do I express my honoring of my parents? Number one, I submit to them. Can you tell me number two and number three? Jialat, if you don't know what it means, then you're not doing very well here, right? Serve. Serve is a good word, but there's another word that makes it even more tightly connected to biblical, direct biblical verse. Excellent. Speak well. Very important, right? You all never say, jialat leh. This is important. Why? Because, directly in the Bible, we are told that if you curse, you are liable for judgment. If you curse, your lamp will be put out. And Matthew 15 does tell us
 
Honor your father and your mother, and whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. (Matthew 15)
 
So I think the negative reminds us of the positive. And I think this is not just about speaking well to your parents, but it's also speaking well of your parents, right? It's great that we can serve our parents, support them financially, but it's also important to speak well of them and to them. Not easy, not easy, but that's what honoring will look like. Tim Challis, he said, “We need to speak well of our parents. We need to speak well of them while they are alive, and speak well of them after they have died. To speak well of them to our siblings, to our spouses, to our children. We need to speak well of them to our churches and communities, modeling a counter cultural kind of honor and respect that has long since gone missing in too many contexts. Christians, speak well of your parents and refuse to speak evil of them.”
 
So we all fail here, and we need to learn. We need to repent. We need to, by God's grace, live such counter cultural lives, to speak well of and speak well to our parents. Does it include your in-laws? No, Yes, yes, yes. (laughter from the congregation) It includes your in laws, okay? So it means we are to submit, we are to speak well of, speak well to.
 
And lastly, as you have all mentioned, we need to support our parents. And I think this is explicit in Matthew 15, where Jesus spoke about this tradition that the Jews have set up. The Jews have set up this system whereby they offer offerings to God and then go and tell their parents, “Oh, actually, I want to support you one, but I can't support you now because I've already given to God, so God will take care of you.” That's what they do.
 
You say, “If anyone tells his father or his mother what you have, what you would have gained from me, is given to God, he need not honor his father.”… (Matthew 15:5-6)
 
So you see that honoring and giving is tied together.
 
For the sake of your tradition, you have made void the Word of God, you hypocrites. (Matthew 15:6)
 
So this again, nicely, segues to 1 Timothy chapter five,
 
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for the members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)
 
It's worse than an unbeliever because even the secular world, the unsaved world, knows that we are to support parents. I mean, this is in our news. It's in Singapore, our government debates over this matter or makes it an issue of public interest. It's seen in our Straits Times and this Maintenance of Parents Act is something enacted in 1995 so almost exactly 30 years ago. They are seeing a trend where children are not taking care of the parents. And so they make it a law that you have to take care of your parents. In fact, about a decade ago, our former President, Madam Halima Yacob, she would say, “In the Maintenance of Parent Act, these values are being eroded because of the pressures of work. It is also because of the nature of relationships has changed in a very modern society. While we cannot legislate filial piety completely, adult children have to understand they too have a responsibility towards their elderly parents.” The ideal is for us not to legislate this. But we don't live in an ideal world. So even the world understands that it is important to do that, what more the Christian.
 
So I think the practical takeaway is, if you are to fulfill the 10 Commandments, it is not just some abstract feeling or thinking in your heart. It's going to be seen in a way you submit, you speak well and you support them financially, support them medically, support them physically support them emotionally, support them socially. I know many Gospel Lighters who make it a point every week to date their parents, to meet them for a meal, to care for them, since God has placed them over you. But as we look at the Ten Commandments, I hope you would come away also with a deep sense of regret and sadness because we fail. We fail in so many ways.
 
The Role of the 10 Commandments in Showing Sinfulness
 
Understanding the Fifth Commandment does not make us feel I've done it so well, because if you really think about it, we all fail. We don't obey our parents the way we should. We don't speak well of them or speak well to them, and we don't fully meet their needs. And God places the Ten Commandments, including commandment number five, to show us our sinfulness, to show us how selfish we are, to show us how evil we are that we should treat our parents so. So the Ten Commandments are not given so that you can try to obey them, to earn your salvation with God, because it's mission impossible, you can't. God's purpose for giving the Ten Commandments is not step by step process to go to heaven. It's a mirror to show you your sinfulness. It's an X-ray to show you your cancer, so that you may now turn to Jesus Christ to save you from your sins. It's not your obedience to the law that saves, it's Jesus and His obedience to the law that saves, and Jesus is the only one who kept this law perfectly. He grew up, Luke tells us he grew up being fully subject to his parents, and even on the day he is going to die, he would entrust his mother, Mary to John.
 
But more than that, Jesus not only honored his parents, Mary in particular, He honored His Heavenly Father. He came not to do His own will, but to do the will of the Father. And He came to glorify His name. The only one who kept this command perfectly is Jesus. The only one who keeps all commands perfectly is Jesus. And this same Jesus, God's Son, would go to the cross and die and shed his blood to wash away your sins. And his perfect righteousness will be like that bank account that is credited into your bank account so that you are seen as righteous before the holy God. This is the good news of the Bible. The Ten Commandments show us our sinfulness and hopelessness, but Jesus is the one who saves. I hope that as you listen to this, you will turn to Jesus and Jesus alone.
 
Let's bow for a word of prayer together. Father, we are thankful for this morning, we can hear Your word reminding ourselves of our own sinfulness. But today, we rejoice greatly. We have a wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you that He came not to destroy the law, but to fulfill the law. He kept all the law, and He would graciously die to save us from our own sinfulness. So I pray again for all my friends who are gathered here that they will leave this place knowing this good news, knowing Jesus died, knowing Jesus rose again, knowing Jesus paid it all, knowing Jesus is our hope and Savior. And I pray again for our church, that as we confess our sins before you, you will grant grace to your people to love your law and to live it out more and more, not perfectly, but progressively, in the power of your Spirit. Help us to honor our parents. Lord, bless our homes. We give our homes to you. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen.