Today, we begin a look into our family and so, the series is on focus on the family. We have just completed the book of Romans, it's a series about the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel, is the good news of Jesus dying to save us from our sins and the gospel is received into our lives, it ought to be lived out in our lives. The first place, the gospel should be seen, lived out in our lives, is in our homes, in our families, and therefore I find it appropriate for us to focus on the family.

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We're going to touch on issues that are relevant to those who are married, those who are single, those who are even divorced, when you look at things such as love and respect and even sex in a marriage. We hope today to be able to bless your heart and in the weeks to come, to know God's will for your family.

Why is this so important, because, Christianity is not just about coming to church on Sundays. Christianity is the way of life and the first place, as I have mentioned that the way of life should be seen is in our homes. And, in the series on focus on the family, I will start with the most important relationship in the family, the husband and wife relationship and in order to start, we will look at a video, it's an interview on my dear wife, Winnie Lee.

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Basically, I thought that being married just means, having a lifetime commitment to one person and being able to see each other through the good and bad times, being able to look after each other till God calls us home. Getting married is easy, but after marriage, that is the hardest part, because even though you know each other very well, a lot of other factors still come into play. First of all, it's your habits that you have to adjust to each other, I am actually quite particular about cleanliness and hygiene and so, obviously my standards are going to be higher than my husband's standard. So, having to adjust my standards such that it is going to be pleasant for him as well as for me, being able to find a middle ground, that takes a lot of time and I also have to refrain from nagging so, that is another difficulty, I have to learn to be patient and not expecting to be done my way only especially when we were not living on our own then. Another part of difficulty is in terms of priorities, like previously, before I got married, I could go out with my friends as and when I want. But, after I've got married, I always have to adjust my schedule according to his schedule.

In terms of finances, I cannot just buy anything I want anymore, which I used to. I have to seek his consent for big items. Yah, so all these things, took a lot of time for me to adjust to because, as independent modern women, we were all taught to be independent, to earn our own money, to do the things that we want to do. So, marriage changes the whole paradigm for us.

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My wife makes me look dirty. ( Loud laughter in the congregation). Sounds like I am so unhygienic, sometimes maybe, but not all the time.

Well, we begin a series on focus on the family and it's about the marriage and I like us to imagine this. I like us to imagine a beautiful couple, a handsome young man, a beautiful young lady, standing before the pastor, about to have their marriage solemnized. Everybody is gathered, you are the guests and you are gathered here, to witness the wedding of this lovely couple and you came with well-wishes, I'm sure everyone who goes to a wedding wishes that the couple will live happily ever after. Isn't that your desire? After all, this is what you read all from storybooks, isn't it, and they lived happily ever after, that's the kind of romance, that's the kind of story we will see in Snow White and Prince charming between Cinderella and her boyfriend to be. It is so clear to all of us, this is our desire for marriage, happily ever after.

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In fact, this is so pervasive that even the Chinese culture thinks like this. If you grow up with kung fu movie and pugilistic shows, you will understand, there is this super ... You know the kung fu master, he fights everyone, he wins all the battles, he is proven to be the top the martial arts, you know what is his dream and desire, you know what is his desire? His dream and desire is to retire from the kung fu world, to be with his sweetheart in a small little village, to plant crops, feed animals, and live, happily ever after.

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The idea is that with martial arts you have a lot of problems, the best way to live your life is to leave those problems and be married and lived happily ever after without problems. Now, that's probably what the couple would think when they get married. The guy would think to himself, wow, we are such a perfect match, she's my ideal soulmate. We are a match, made in heaven. I am like Prince Charming, who came and set her off her feet and our lives would be perfect and we would be absolutely satisfied. And so, everybody in this wedding ceremony, will be wishing them the best, thinking that the marriage would go on wonderfully, it would be like a dream come true and, indeed, they would live happily ever after.

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So, with those hopes, they set out on a honeymoon to beautiful Hawaii and there, they have the time of their lives. Maybe, for one week, two weeks, but soon, they have to come back home and they have to come back to reality. They start work, and lived together in the same house, and things get dirty, dishes need to be washed and they start to do household chores together and because they live together, they spend more time with one another, they rub each other sometimes the wrong way, friction arises, disagreement comes and she is disgusted by the way he throws his dirty socks around and he's always wondering why are you taking so long in the bathroom.

And soon, they start to get into little tiffs and arguments, and quarrels and things turned ugly. They start to see the flaws in one another, she doesn't look so perfect after a while, he doesn't look so great after all, our marriage is not so great after a while and soon they get disillusioned and disenchanted. They get angry with one another, with each other. They are displeased, and then they start to wonder, when did this crashed? When the happily ever after feel like happily never after? Who is at fault, why is this so, how they become like this? It hit them like a ton of bricks because disagreements and quarrels, and fights now litter their journey of marriage. And things get from bad to worse. In the time they are away, in the honeymoon maybe, no quarrels, they come back, maybe argue a little.

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But, as years go by, they start to quarrel more and more, because there is a lot of baggage, there's a lot of historical feuds that are not really dealt with. Reality hits home, it seems like happily ever after is a distant memory, so elusive. It is now a marriage filled with heartaches and pains.

Timothy Keller says this, no marriage I know, more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairytale come true. He is saying, everybody thinks that when you are married,it is like a fairytale, Prince charming and Princess gets together and they live happily ever after. But he says, I have never known a marriage that after a few weeks old, still believe in that fairytale. Reality hits home.

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All is like what Alexander Pope says "They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake!" (Laughter in the congregation). You know, when you are courting, everything is rosy and nice. The guy says, I would do anything for you, I will climb the highest mountains, I will reach for the stars and pluck it for you. That's all a dream, by the way in courtship and somehow, women believed those dreams. But once they get married, they have to wake up to reality. It's not what they had hoped for.

It is said, there are only two reasons why a man would open the door of a car for a lady, 1. The car is new (Laughter in the congregation) and 2. The lady is new (Laughter in the congregation). Because, after you have lived together for a while, you start to realize she is not perfect, he is not perfect, there are deep flaws in them. And so, you get to take each other for granted, you start to despise, you start to slight, you may even be disgusted with one another. You wake up to reality.

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I have been married for thirteen years, believe it or not, I know I look like a boy, and every time I buy things from the hawker center, Ah Tee, they would still tease me. But I am married for thirteen years and when we were about to get married, I thought marriage would be sweet and wonderful, easy and smooth. It would be easy, we thought, after all, Winnie is a great girl. I mean, if you know my wife, those of you who have been in GLCC for a long time, you know my wife is a wonderful lady. She is quiet, and she would never come on stage therefore I have to film her in an interview, she is a wonderful lady, a great lady and I am a great guy (Laughter in the congregation), just kidding. But I thought, she's such a great lady and I think, marriage will work out fine and I know there were others that would tell us, marriage is going to be hard, you've got to work at marriage, you've got to put in a lot of effort, but I didn't quite believe them. She is a good girl, we both know the Lord, we love Jesus Christ, it should work out.

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But, lo and behold, every thought we are an ideal couple, a marriage made in heaven, so and so forth. We went on a honeymoon and lo and behold, I think, Winnie, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think, we started to quarrel already in honeymoon. (Laughter in the congregation). We didn't need a few weeks, a few days is enough. We have disagreements, I think I can't even remember what, but I am sure, we started quarrel quite early on in our marriage. And that was not only the end of it. We have, if I remember my thirteen years of marriage life, marriage journey it is filled with times of joy and excitement and wonderful memories, but there are also times when we go through with really really, difficult patches, disagreements. And, it is almost like I didn't realize marriage could be like this.

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But, marriage forces me to wake up from a kind of a fairytale that I have been living. It is tough! People often asked, pastor, have you ever thought about divorce? I say, no of course, the Bible doesn't allow us to divorce, but murder, yes. (Laughter in the congregation). Again, just kidding, alright. You know, sometimes in marriage you feel like, uuggh, how come, you don't understand, how come, you can't see this? And, and it is so difficult, it is easy in a church, but wrong in a church by the way. It is easy in the church for you to disagree with someone and then you disengage, you back off each other. So you have a kind of disagreement, then, okay, that's fine. I'm going to sit that side, you are going to sit that side, we're not going to talk to each other, that is easy.

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But in a marriage, by the way, that's wrong, alright, un-biblical. But in a marriage, you can't run. You have still got to go back and sleep, see him, he is still got to go back and see her. She is after all, your wife and he is after all, your husband, that is why, it is so difficult. You can't run, and the frustration grows, there is an impasse in many decisions and it eats you away.

So, we all live a kind of a dream; marriage should be perfect, that's how you think, that's how we think, when we get married. But, the reality comes, mine is in a mess. If you are honest with yourself, this does not happen all the time, but it happens, sometimes and if aggregate them together today, you will feel, why is my marriage in a mess?

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Therefore, you get discouraged. You say, this is bad, you get disappointed, you get disillusioned. You can't believe that you can actually hate your spouse so much. And then, you start to find fault with why this has taken place, you start to find fault with your spouse. It's all her fault, it's all his fault. And even the devil may come and tell you, maybe you marry the wrong person. Don't you think so? Why do you think people have extramarital affairs? Because, they believed this lie, we married the wrong person. So, maybe I should look somewhere else. My colleague, my secretary or whatever, she is more attractive, or he is better. He is more capable, he is more caring and therefore, that lie that you have believed, marriage should be perfect, but mine is not so good, makes you think, you married the wrong person.

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Now, what's worse is that when we have this expectation and reality gap, we feel embarrassed to tell people our marriage is struggling, we don't want to open up because everybody believes in Cinderella, everybody believes in Snow White, everybody believes marriage should be perfect, but not mine, mine is in a mess, I better keep quiet and don't tell anyone about it. So, I had my problems, I don't deal with it, I don't share it with my care group members, I don't share it with brothers and sisters in Christ, I don't ask for prayer, I don't ask for help because I am embarrassed, there's a stigma, just a shame that comes when I admit to marriage failure.

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Some years ago, I was working as a medical doctor, in a surgical team. And there was this lady, and an Indonesian lady, who came in with extremely high fever, she was flushed, she was really sweaty and she complained of left breast pain. We examined her and we realized that it was swollen red, hot, inflamed. We knew something was really going badly there and we say, you need an operation immediately and that's what she went for. She went under anesthesia, in the operating theater, we took a knife, we located the spot that was most red and we make a slit on it. And once, we made a slit on it, it was like water that float out off a broken dam. There was a gush of pus, you know pus, yellowy, mushy stuff that smelled real bad.

And we didn't have to do anything, the pus just whoosh, came out. And there was nothing else we could do, the skin was necrotic, it was dead, it was diseased, all the breast tissue are gone and eaten up. We could only packed it back and we wanted to ask her, why, why didn't you do anything about it. It probably started as a pimple, then progressed to be a boil, and then a little collection of pus, and because, there was nothing done to it, it became a whole bag of pus. Why? Well, maybe she thought it is nothing, maybe she thought, it would heal by itself. Maybe she thought, there's nothing anyone could do about it anyway. Well, maybe she thought, I am too embarrassed to tell people my problems.

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Do you realize, that could happen to your marriage? You say to yourself, my argument is nothing. I know I quarrel with my husband everyday, but it's nothing. No one can help us anyway. Ah, it would get better, we just sleep and the next morning it would be better. Or, you may say, I better don't tell anyone, because nobody in church seems to have a problem with marriage. Everybody seems to be living the dream, my marriage is perfect. But the reality is not that. Everybody struggles in marriage. I say to you, everybody struggles in marriage, everybody understands, my marriage is in a mess. The question is why?

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Why is marriage in a mess, pastor, why do you say so surely, everybody struggles in marriage? I thought they should be a Cinderella, Snow White tale? No, Wake Up ! The reason why we believe it would always work out because this is what is said to us, Happily Ever After. But let me put a big stamp and chop on it, "It is a lie."

It doesn't happen in real life. We believe that marriage is to be perfect. Let me put a stamp and a chop on it, "It is also a lie." It never happens in real life. I say to you, marriage is a very difficult journey. Reason, it's because marriage is between two very different and imperfect people. This is the basis. Why is marriage difficult? You are different, different points of views, different perspectives, different needs, different desires. And you put two different people together, often times, there are clashes. You say, no lah, my wife and I very similar, we are almost like the same, please lah, look at your face and her face, different already. But more than that it says, if two people, Ruth Graham Bell says “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”.

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So, marriage is difficult because, it's between two very different people. But you add to that, not just difference, but imperfection and what I mean by imperfection is this, we are very sinful. Now, if you believe in other forms of religion and faith, you would say "We are born good, we are born great, we are born kind." Then, marriage difficulties makes no sense.

But the Bible tells us, we are born sinful, we are born wicked, we are born self-centered, we are born evil. Therefore, how can you expect marriage to be perfect. Marriage merely reveals the wickedness in our hearts.

So, imperfection, what does it mean? I am sinful, I am wicked, I am flawed, I am evil. Not only that, I am insecure, I have shame, I have guilt, I have frustrations, I am hurting, I have wounds of the past, I bring baggage into this marriage because I have been wounded before, I am shaped to think in a particular way, so, don't expect me to come into this marriage, happy, contented because I have my hurts. And then, we come with all our selfish desires.

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So, if marriage is between two very different and imperfect people, you now can understand, I hope, why the husband and wife is always constantly on collision course. You can't expect anything less because we are different, because we are sinful, because we are imperfect, because`we are insecure. It's the perfect combination for problems.

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Now, that is not all by the way, if that is all, it would already be bad enough, but I tell you, they are external factors, add on the devil. He is real. You say, pastor, does the Bible ever talk about the devil directly, destroying and interfering in marriage? Absolutely! 1 Corinthians 7. When there is sexual frustration in a couple, you can be sure, Satan would be watching for a time to come and tempt the frustrated partner. Why? Because he hates marriages. You say, why does he hate marriages? I will tell you next week. Just come next week. But he hates it, he wants to devour our marriages, he wants to spoil it, destroyed it and you can be sure, he is actively looking out for opportunities to ruin your marriage.

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And then you add to that, very real pressure, especially if you are a Christian, pressure to live it up, pressure to look good, pressure to be the decent couple, pressure is also at work, pressures in your family, pressures with kids, pressures with finance. Do you realize, this is a perfect concoction for an explosion? This is the making of a perfect storm, and you just need very little, to tip it off and set it on fire. For example, look at this... Video plays

Did you get the milk for me ?
Milk ? What milk ?
The milk I asked you to buy this morning?
Aiyah!
Why are you so upset, I only ask you to buy milk only what ?
You think I am very free ah, I am working you know, I have deadlines to meet, I have clients to meet, I have complaints to attend to and then I have meetings to go to also, and then, furthermore, I only have one hour for lunch and after that, I have to make so many phone calls, such a simple thing, you cannot do it, why don't you just go get it yourself?
What's wrong with you? If you have problems at work, please do not bring them home hoh, please, hoh, it's such a simple thing like you say?
It is a simple thing, why can't you just go and get yourself?
You took the train back right, NTUC is just next to the train station, why can't you just buy and bring it back, it's such a simple thing what.

Why do you all giggle? Because it is so, so real. It doesn't take a lot to lit that combustible concoction. Just a little bit, just a little bit and you can see the selfishness, you can see the pressures, you can see the tiredness, you can see those things just come into play.
Marriage, is not a walk in the park. I want to say this statement to you and remember this, alright, this is the key statement and that is about all I will deliver today. The key statement is this, this is just the first half, "Marriage is really, really tough".

Just to make this very clear to you, I have put 'really' two times. Just like the Bible, verily, verily I say to you. (Laughter in the congregation).

Marriage is really, really tough. It is, can you say this together with me, "Marriage is really, really tough."

Now, look at your spouse, now, because you may not have realized that between the two of you, you know, you might have the expectation, I thought marriage is going to be good, easy. Now, look at your spouse, if he or she is beside you and repeat together with me, one, two, three, "Marriage is really, really tough."

All your fault, lah! (Laughter in the congregation) No, not all your fault, it's our fault, because we're sinful, we are insecure, we have our burdens and our wounds and our hurts. So, marriage is really, really tough and that's why I am glad you're here today.

Knowing marriage is really, really tough, doesn't help you, until you realize that it is exactly why God allows marriage to be tough, so that we will realize, "Only Jesus is enough."

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I know my poetry is bad but, "Marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough."

You see, if marriage is not tough, you don't need Jesus. I could do it, I can handle it.

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It's okay, I can control it but no, God in a sense put you in a very difficult journey so that you are forced to see that marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough. So, now, can you look at your spouse again and say this in completion and find your hope and joy in Jesus Christ. Come, say it with me, one, two, three. "Marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough." It is only Jesus who is enough. Why? Because, marriage is created by God, marriage is the invention of God, marriage is the gift of God and if you have problems in your marriage, you go back to the Creator. If your Toyota car has a problem, you go back to Toyota and if our marriage has problems, you know, you can't turn to the left and to the right, you got to turn to Jesus Christ. That's why the Bible is given, that's why He gives us His Holy Spirit, that's why we worship the true and living God, because our lives would be absolutely in a mess until we have Jesus in our lives.

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And you know, in this whole wide world, this problem of sin can never be solved by anyone else, but Jesus Christ. You cannot solve it, no one can solve it except Jesus. Therefore in our marriage, we realize it is tough and only Jesus is enough.

If you're here today for the first time, I am grateful, I am glad that you came. The solution is not following me, nor in any one of us here, the solution is found only in Jesus because Jesus changes life, Jesus changes marriages.

A testimony from one of our couples in GLCC.

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May and I, we knew each other when we were very young, she was sixteen and I was nineteen. I was attracted by her looks, she was pretty and her personality as well, she was very bubbly. I was sixteen, I met him, I was studying in a girls' school, we had this barbecue, by the seaside, we thought we get some guys to come and protect us and he was one of the guys who came and you know it was like all this romantic feelings, ten years of marriage that was like eighteen years we fought all the time. Sometimes, it was just like one way of fighting. He would give way to me by just keeping quiet.

And I was moved to a mode that less communication, less friction and less quarrels. But that agitated me, when he kept quiet, I kind of like you know, say something and I was like, and it was just terrible, our communication was just terrible and I will say there was no communications, and we had cold wars all the time.

You know, this cannot last long. And we, many times we even think of going separate ways. At certain points, I just felt like giving up. But deep inside me, I just felt like it was just hopeless. When we celebrated our tenth anniversary, we went to a very nice island, stayed in a very nice resort. But I knew that in my heart, it was just a show, it was just something we did it because we wanted to tell people that we are still married and that we were celebrating our tenth anniversary but really, there was, there was really no love I felt. I felt like this was really a joke.

But through my business dealings, I knew a developer and he was very negative, a chain smoker and all of a sudden, I realized he has changed. He shared with me about Jesus and he invited me to his church. I was very open, I said, why not. So, I went to May and say, since men cannot help us, why not we go to seek God, maybe God can help us.

And I said, "Yes, let's go to this church, you, you wanted me to go". And we went to the church, that was GLCC and pastor Paul preached on marriage.

After May and I surrendered our lives to Jesus, we want to follow Jesus. We spent a lot of time together and the whole God centeredness has helped us in our marriage. And now, I realized that I am still learning a lot and I realized I have to show my respect to him and not just only allow him to lead but from the bottom of my heart and joyously and have that willingness to follow.

So, our marriage is no longer build on our own wisdom or own knowledge, our marriage is built upon God's truth.

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Pastor Kay Hong and sister May, their story is well known to many of us, they came on the verge of divorce and it was God who turned their marriage around. Not only turned their marriage around, but turned their lives around and there serving the Lord now in the full-time capacity and we are grateful.

But who is sufficient for this, who can change their lives? Pastor? church? No, Jesus alone, because marriage is tough and only Jesus is enough. Only when we have Christ in our families, in our lives, will it be enough.

Don't you find it amazing, when Paul talks about being filled with the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 5, the immediate applications, the first application is in the family? Being filled with the Spirit, husbands, love your wives, wives, submit to your own husbands. You see, without the power of the Holy Spirit, you can't do those things. Is God, it's Christ, His Spirit that changes our lives and enable us to be a man or woman we ought to be so that the marriage is what it should be. It's only when we experience the love of Jesus, when He fully, freely forgave us, we experience His grace that we can now release that grace. Because, marriage is full of clashes and difficulties. It's only when you experienced this grace that, that would cover the multitude of sins.

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God is not here to give you an easy marriage. If you are wishing for an easy marriage, you ain't going to get it. But God is going to help you through a very difficult marriage. You see, the journey to the peak of marriage, is the gospel, is the glory of Jesus Christ and this pilgrimage, this journey is not going to be easy. You need Christ, you need to put your hands in His and He leads you all the way.

Marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough.

Now, let me put this into some applications. Many of you here are also single, I realized that. We have many young adults, young people, you are single, you are looking for your partner. You want to take a piece of your heart and give it to someone but cannot find someone to give and you have been looking for a long time. Can I say something to you, do you know why you couldn't find a partner today, I'm not saying all of you, but maybe some of you. Some of you struggle to find the right partner, you know why, because you are looking for someone who is tall, dark and handsome, you're looking for someone who is loving and gentle, kind and gracious, never gets angry, always contented, forever happy; you're looking for Jesus Christ. (Laughter in the congregation).

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Hey, you ain't going to find him, you won't find a perfect guy, because there is no such thing, we are all sinners, we are very flawed, we are very evil, we are wicked, we are selfish, we are wounded, we are burdened, you're not going to find someone like that, so if you're looking only for someone like that, you will never get married. I know, you tell me pastor, every morning, I come to church early to look and after service, I also look, I have been looking for many, many years, I can't find that man, because you're looking for the wrong target, with the wrong expectation, you think that marriage is about finding that perfect guy and everything is about happily ever after, no, it doesn't work that way.

00:34:02

There's only one thing I want to urge all of you to do, those of you who are single to consider and that is yes, I know that there are some minimum standards that you may have legitimate, logical reasonable standards, that's fine, no problem. But if there is one thing I want to caution you which I received quite a lot of questions from the church about is this "Can I date someone who is not a Christian?" I am a Christian, I love Jesus, but this guy, is really nice to me. He is not a Christian, but I just want to be with him, is it possible? I say, you're flirting with danger, because, what if you develop a deep relationship with him until the point you want to get married, but he will not trust Christ for whatever reason. It is a dangerous thing to play with fire.

00:34:49
Now, the reason why you should not be entering marriage with an unbeliever is of course you all know the unequal yoke principle and God commands us, not to do it. But it's also a wise thing not to do it, you know why? Because, if you are a Christian today, the deepest part of you, your real identity is that you are a follower of Jesus, you love Christ, He is really the center of your life. But, if he is not a believer or if she is not a believer, he doesn't love Christ, he doesn't follow Jesus and so, in a marriage where you're supposed to have a deep communion and intimacy, you can't share the same dreams, hopes and vision with a man or woman who does not know Christ. And you are set up for the rest of your marriage with difficulties, because you are pulling in different directions. So, is not only that it is wrong, it is also very unwise. But finding your partner, is not finding Jesus Christ. There is no perfect man, there is no perfect lady, you're not going to have a perfect marriage, I hope that lie is dispelled, that myth is dispelled from your minds.

00:36:01

I speak today also to those who are just married or who are going to get married. You want to get married and you are just married maybe with this expectation. You know, my life is set, Wah, she is going to complete and fulfilled me, he is going to take care of me and I will be extremely satisfied in my marriage. I tell you, your courtship is the dream and in your wedlock, you will wake, because, your marriage, or your partner will never fully satisfy you. He won't, she won't.

You say, why get married then? I will tell you next week. (Laughter in the congregation).

But in this marriage, you will realize, more and more and more the reason why God allows you to be married. One of the reasons is that you will realize, more and more and more that nobody can satisfy me. Nobody can ever fill that God void in my heart; only He can.

So, when you enter into a marriage, have the right understanding and expectation. The marriage is not going to fulfill you and your spouse is not going to be the perfect person and you're called in this marriage to help her, to help him to grow and progress in Christlikeness. It's not expecting him to be perfect to suit all your needs, but realizing, that both of you are sinners, journeying towards Christ likeness.

00:37:30

I speak also, to some of you today, whose marriage are already in the verge of animosity. You don't like each other, you hate each other, you don't talk to each other, because you argue so many times already, you give up. You lose your respect for your husband, you lose your tenderness towards your wife and you know what you think to yourself, Bo pian leow (colloquial for "no use already"), I am stuck with this man, I am stuck with this woman, can't be helped already.

You know what, be careful of the little pimple that can develop into a whole bag of abscess. It is not nothing, is not that it would heal by itself, it is not that nothing can be done, that can be done. Some things can be done. Again I tell you what can be done? Come join us next week. (Laughter in the congregation) and the weeks to come.

00:38:17

But in the meanwhile, in the meanwhile, I hope to start this sermon for this series because, I hope that in GLCC, we would have that honesty, humility and openness to recognize that marriage is not perfect, marriage, my marriage is in a mess and I can find help, I can find encouragement, I can find support in one another, I can speak to my care group about my issues, I can speak to my mentor about my marriage relationships. You know, it is so sad when people cover it up, nobody else in the church knows, nobody who is a Christian knows and the next thing we know about is you're going for divorce. You say why? Because we are too embarrassed, we think it's a stigma, it's a shame, but no, folks, we are all pilgrims together in this journey of life, marriage is difficult. And you all admit that only Jesus is enough.

00:39:20

Some of us are already in this stage; tomorrow, is your divorce, next week, is the time for you to sign the papers. Can I say one last word do you, before you actually do that, don't give up on your marriage, marriage is worth fighting for, marriage is in the heart of God. Do you realize that, the Bible is about marriage, the Bible begins with a marriage, Adam and Eve. The Bible and with a marriage, Christ and His church and throughout this, from that point to the other point, throughout this journey, we are the bride of Christ. Marriage is in the heart of God, God hates divorce, He wants you in, He doesn't want you out, even in the case of adultery, He still wants you in.

00:40:09

We live in a world that quits easily, we quit our jobs if we don't like it we quit. We quit in our friendship, we quit. We quit in church, some disagreement and we leave church. There is no loyalty, there is no solidarity, there is no covenant. Don't give it up. Maybe tonight, that's what you need to do, go back to your spouse, your husband and wife, you know you're going to break up, you're not going to give up easily, you are going to fight for it and you go back to your spouse and say, dear, we have had many many problems, it seems, insurmountable, but I want you to know, that no matter what happens, I won't give up on our marriage. We will live with tension, we will live with difficulties, but I won't give it up.

Is not just the physical keeping up of it, is also within your hearts. God cares for your marriage.

00:41:07

So, this morning we begin with a very, very simple statement, "Marriage, is really, really tough." As a church, let us all recognize that, so that we may really turned and say, "Jesus alone is enough."

Let's bow for a word of prayer. It is a simple, practical message to start of our series on focus on the family. I care for my home, and I'm sure, you care for your home and I am sure, God cares for your family. Maybe, in this time of silence and quietness, I like you to consider what has been shared with you and respond to God in an appropriate way. Have you been living a dream and a lie, have you been disillusioned and disenchanted with your spouse, are you beginning to look at her fault and his faults, forgetting that this is also about you, about your growth, about your progress? Or maybe today, you come because you want to find some answers about your marriage issues. That is all this morning turn to Jesus Christ, our Lord. Marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough.

Take this time, respond to God right where you are. Jesus came, change our lives to save us from our sins, to set us free from bondage and tyranny of sins, Jesus is enough. Hold your spouse hands tight, this is a journey for life, God has determined that you would journey with him, with her, for the rest of your life, take it seriously, take it from the Lord. She is the one, he is the one, there is no backing out and in this marriage relationship, He wants to be glorified. Let's look full in His wonderful face.

Father, this morning, we are grateful, we can look into Your Word, and find out sufficiency in Jesus Christ. May this reality, be unfolded progressively, more and more, deeply into our hearts, in the weeks that we would take as we journey through Focus on the Family, so that through our homes, our families, dear God, You would be glorified. Allow us to journey deeper into the gospel, in our homes, for Your own Name's sake, bless every family here, draw us near to each other and to You, we pray in Jesus Name. Amen.