As you are know we are in a series called Focus on the Family. We are looking into in particular right now ‘Marriages’, and in order to start our message today, I thought we’ll kick off with a video right from the word 'go', so please enjoy:
Video :
Lim Eng Chuan : Successful marriage doesn’t mean there’s no complaint. It means that a couple continuously trying to get it right.
Lim Siew Yean : I am just a wretched sinner saved by grace, so is Eng Chuan. So I just have to pray and ask God to give me grace to forgive me him too on those few days that his words are pretty cold.
Chloe Lee : That also taught me a lot about self control. I won’t say I’m good at it. But I’m getting better lah.
May Lim : I make it a habit to ask him questions especially spiritual questions, like talking about some of the issues in my life.
Chloe Lee : To be able to control my words, and also when to say things, like must choose opportune moments to raise sensitive issues so that you don’t get into a fight just before you go to sleep.
May Lim : Opening up to admit some of the struggles that I have. For him not only to pray for me but to also point out to me whenever I fall short of God’s glory.
Jonathan Lau : I think all these little, little inconsistencies are slowly teaching me what love and respect means in our daily living and our daily lives. Do we act in a way that honours the person we claim we love.
Today we are continuing in Focus on the Family. I hope you remember what we have gone through so far.
Last week we looked at this key statement where it says 'Marriage is where Mystery of the Gospel becomes Majesty through the Couple'. Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful depiction of Christ and his Church. The mystery of the Gospel because the world by and large does not know the love of God. 'How much does God love us?' and 'How did God show he loves us?' Well you can see that in a little way through a couple, through a marriage, and so that mystery of God’s love for the Church becomes majesty through the couple. And we saw that it is through submission, sacrifice, steadfastness of our relationship together. So marriage is more than just companionship or partnership or having children or having pleasure. Marriage is a beautiful portrayal of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
And then two weeks ago we looked into this statement : 'Marriage is Really, Really Tough! And Only Jesus is Enough!' Because marriage is about two very different and sinful people living together and you add to that our pressures, the devil’s work, no wonder marriage is really, really tough.
And therefore, in all our messages we hope to help you see that you need Jesus. If today you are married and you do not have Jesus, it is absolutely difficult for you to go through your marriage journey. But with Jesus there is hope, there is joy, there is purpose to our marriage. I was reminded of a joke that I knew sometime ago last week after I shared, and it goes something like this :
"I thought he is Ideal" (meaning when you were getting into marriage you thought he is ideal) but
"Then I found it an Ordeal", and before long you say
"Now I want a New Deal".
Isn’t it the case in marriage? People get frustrated, they want a new deal , they want to get out of this painful relationship. But today, I want to add one more. This is not part of the joke. This is what I thought, I thought it is a new deal then I found it an ordeal, now I want a new deal. Actually
"But God wants me to be the Real Deal!"
And I think that’s the point of marriage. Why is marriage so difficult? Have you ever considered this that marriage is where I can become the Real Deal? What I mean by the Real Deal is that God uses marriage to enable you to become the man Jesus wants you to be or the woman Jesus wants you to be.
So this is a mindset shift. Because often times when you talk to people, people will say Pastor can you change my husband, can you talk some sense into him and when people come to counselling or pastoral advice, their mindset is change him, change her, change them but please don’t talk about me. But has it occurred to you it’s all about you. Instead of saying 'change him', have you ever asked 'God, change me, please'. See, I think marriage is an ideal situation by which we can grow and be more like Jesus. The mindset shift I’m asking you for today is not to look at marriage as a source of comfort so much as it is a source of how your character can be changed. So it's not so much about your comfort, it's more about your character. It's not so much about your happiness, but it’s more so your holiness. I believe God gives all of us relationships, right? In your life, one thing that characterises who you are is the relationships you enjoy with people - your relationship at work, your relationship at home, your relationship in church, your relationship with friends.
Why does God give us relationships? Well one of the reasons for relationships is that through these interactions you can grow to more like Jesus. I put it this way – relationships are for discipleship. Why am I under such a difficult boss? Has it every occurred to you the boss is placed by God to help you grow. Why do I have to deal with such difficult colleagues? Has it ever occurred to you the colleagues are to help you to be more holy. God gives us relationships so that we may grow and marriage is one such context of environment. It is a mindset shift that I’m asking you have today because I know you come for marriage series like this, and you drag your husband here, you drag your wife here. You must hear you hah, you must hear because you want to change him or her. But I want to say today, God wants to change me, wants to change you, and if we are to benefit out of this time, then this is the key statement you need to grasp. 'Marriage is where I can become the Real Deal'. You say why? In what way is marriage so suited to help me grow as a Christian?
There are few things I want to tell you why this is so suitable. 3 reasons :
#1. Marriage is where I can see my Sinfulness
I believe it is suitable because marriage is where I can see my sinfulness. It’s a very, very real way. Marriage is the ideal way to see your true self. You didn’t know how angry you could be. You never knew how impatient you really are. You didn’t quite realise that you are so arrogant and proud until you are in a marriage. Why? Because this is usually the way we look at ourselves. (picture) True? Wah, I’m the good guy man, I am the cool dude, I'm the superman, and though we are just the cat we think we are lion. We think of ourselves better than we should. The Bible tells us to esteem others more important but the reality is we esteem ourselves more important. But marriage changes this mirror by which you look at yourself. Marriage gives you a fresh perspective and a more accurate perspective of who you are. Because I think marriage mirror looks like this (picture).
There will be times in your life where you see yourself with such rage and anger and frustration. You say 'why?' We start to blame it on the mirror. This mirror is lousy, make me look bad. No, no, no, the mirror merely reflected who you really are. See this is what someone said : One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, "Here’s to helping you discover what you are really like!" Have you ever thought of it this way? Your spouse is not so much to meet just your needs or comfort you, though her or she will, that’s one of the purposes. But has it also occurred to you that your spouse is to help you grow in Christ-likeness and one of the ways he or she will help you grow is that she brings out the ugly part in us? Because if we don’t realise the ugly parts in us we cannot be better off. It’s like if you don’t see a doctor and do the x-rays you will never see the real problem on the inside. And so a spouse, marriage, is meant to bring out that sinfulness. Another way of looking at it is that marriage is like a torch light. You know when it is dark, nobody can tell what’s wrong. But when light comes in, you can immediately search out the errors. And this is what this imagery is said by Catherine Anne Porter, a writer. She said :
Marriage is the merciless revealer,
the great white searchlight
turned on the darkest places of human nature.
Dark corners in our hearts, that kind of anger and wrath and self centeredness. You don’t know until you get married and that is when you start to quarrel, you argue because you can’t back out because you are stuck in this marriage, you have to work it out and it brings out, and it brings out and it brings out the sinfulness in us.
Another imagery.. I’m giving you examples so that you can see how marriage could work out to be a great revealer of sinfulness. Another example we are familiar with as a church is the illustration of the teabag teacup. This illustration is simple. When you pour hot water into this teacup with a tea bag, the water which is transparent immediately turns brownish and it emits a kind of aroma. What was responsible for this smell and this colour and this flavour? Is it the hot water? No, what is responsible for the smell and the colour and the flavour is the tea leaf in the tea bag. And so I say marriage is like this. We are like teabags. We can’t tell how sinful we are until we put into the hot water of marriage. Marriage is that kind of hot water situation that draws out what is already on the inside - a sinful, self-centred, angry, wicked, proud and arrogant heart. You notice, generally we don’t speak very well about our own hearts. It’s true, the Bible does tell us we have the flesh and the flesh has evil and what marriage does is that it draws it all out. The fault is not in the marriage in a sense, but the marriage accentuates, brings it out so that we could see for ourselves.
Another illustration, fourth one, is that of a bridge. Imagine a big truck driving across the bridge. What happens is, because this is an old bridge with many loose screws and breaking, maybe planks, the heavy truck that drove over the bridge will cause the bridge to swing, will the bridge to sway, and cause it to creek. But whose fault is it? Well, the bridge was already having fault lines in the first place. So I look at it this way again. The weaknesses in our lives, personal lives, are shown up when the weight of marriage goes over it.
If you are not married, the strain and stress may not be the same. I mean when you are single, you are not accountable to anyone, you are just your own life, relatively less strain. But once you are married, you realise your spouse is like a truck. The marriage is like a truck, she goes over it or he goes over it and you start to creek and you eeeee and a lot of fault lines start to manifest itself. Marriage is something like this.
The last illustration is that marriage is like seeing a doctor. Marriage is like the x-ray that shows up the cancer or the fractures and again you see it. You don’t like seeing a doctor generally, unless you want to get MC. But apart from that you don’t like to seeing a doctor. But seeing a doctor is good for you because it’s only when you bring out the worst in you that you can then allow the physician to work out the best through you. Marriage is like this.
So what’s my point? My point is, marriage is a great environment for you to grow because this is where like never before, this is where like nothing else, you see your own sinfulness. Has it happened to you, men, I’m speaking as man, I do not know so much lady examples. But men, there are times I’m rushing for time. I have to get somewhere and my wife is taking out the kids and a lot of things to pack. I always think should have packed earlier, why not pack earlier. And then I get frustrated. I get angry and then I blurt out things that I shouldn’t blurt out. I’m angry in my heart that I shouldn’t be, and then I realise actually I was angry with the excuse saying you should be on time. But deep in my heart it is because I care about my reputation more than anything else.
And that episode allows me to see how self-centred I really am. Do you realise that when you quarrel with your spouse it’s often because you are demanding the right to own your life rather than to serve the other person? That’s why you quarrel. You draw battle lines - no, no, no this is mine. And it’s all because we have that expression of what is self-centred on the inside. We are impatient, we get frustrated. Marriage shows up all these depths of our heart like nothing else.
So I say to you, if this is true, what does it mean for you and me? If marriage is a great place for me to see my sinfulness not in a condemning way but in a helpful way, for me to see my worst so that God can work out His best.
If this is true, then what does this mean for you and me? I think there are few applications I would like to share.
(1) I think as a couple we should ask our spouse and ask each other about our spiritual walk because everybody will paint a nice picture of your life. Wow, he’s a very good Christian she’s a very good Christian. But you know, they don’t know the real picture. Isn’t it true? Don’t dare to nod your head. I nod my head for my wife, alright? You guys think I’m superman or super spiritual pastor preaching. She knows who I really am. Marriage shows up who Jason Lim really is like nothing else.
The stress, the 24-7, 7 days a week, 30 days a month kind of interaction shows it up. You can’t hide. And therefore I say to you, if you are serious about spiritual growth, ask your spouse. Find out what he or she thinks about your life. Don’t look at the mirror that makes you look like a lion but look at the real one, see the real on the inside. It is said that Howard Hendricks, a well known preacher, preached a sermon and one young student came up to him and said. Howard Hendricks, sir prof, you are a great man. Howard Hendricks felt a bit 'shiok' (expression essentially used to convey a feeling of sheer pleasure and happiness) and so he turned to his wife and said : “Dear, how many great men do you know?” His wife immediately looks at him, knew what his problem was, and said : “One less than you think.”
We need our spouse to help us see ourselves. So ask if you are really serious about spiritual growth, ask your spouse. And if you are discipling someone by the way, don’t ask him whom you are disciplining or ask her whom you are discipling whether he has grown or she has grown. The best way to ask is to ask their spouse because they are better reflections of whether you have really grown. Because they reveal our sinfulness like nothing else.
(2) Another thing I thought we should do is, we should be thankful for our spouse, we should be thankful for our marriage. Generally, we are thankful for marriage when it is smooth and nice and easy. Isn’t it so? Wah, thank God I have such a nice wife. Thank God I have such a nice husband. How many of you have thanked God because of such a difficult wife? My wife is very unreasonable. I thank God for her. Anyone of you done that? She really irritates me but I thank God for her. Anyone done that? Well, maybe we should have a kind of paradigm shift. I’m not saying you encourage her to be difficult and so on and so forth, but I think there is also cause for thanksgiving even in a difficult marriage because that is the kind of stress that’s necessary to show up our fault lines as well.
(3) Maybe another application here is when we realise a marriage is to show up our sinfulness, we are less likely to point fingers on our spouse. We check the beam that is in our eye (Matthew 7) rather than go around looking for specks in our wife’s or husband’s eye. I think that’s wise, because in marriage when you quarrel and you argue, you’re always saying you should do this, you should do this, you should do this. But you should ask yourself - maybe I should do something, check myself, this is for me to check, this is for spiritual growth. It’s not about getting my way, it’s not about comfort, it’s not about happiness, it’s about character, it’s about holiness, it’s about likeness to Jesus. This forces us like nothing else to come to Jesus for help. Marriage shows my sinfulness. Marriage shows my desperation to depend on Christ because I really realise marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough.
So, point one, marriage is a great environment for you to grow because it shows up our sinfulness. Not very positive sounding right, but that’s the reality. The worst so that the best may be achieved.
#2. Marriage is where I can see my Security
Marriage is also where, I say this, Christ-centered marriages, all right, is also where I can see my security. I am going to explain to you what security is and then I’m going to explain how security or this secure environment helps you to grow. We live in a day and age where co-habitation is getting more and more common. Co-habitation is when a single man and a single woman without getting married would live together and maybe even have intimate relationships. People do that today because they feel that it is more convenient. It is simpler, hassle-free. If we like it we can be together and if we don’t like it we just part, we go for the next partner, we go for the next boy next girl and co-habitation is the norm today, almost. It is getting higher and higher in its prevalence and you have movies that glorify co-habitation.
Slide: Cohabitating Before Marriage (Souce: Centers for Disease Control)
1995 34%
2002 43%
2006-2010 48%
Friends will benefit, is it? Oh ya and no strings attached whatever. This is the common culture of this day and age - co-habitation. So people feel that cohabitation is a great idea. Because it’s so convenient. It suits me, I’ll be with you. It doesn’t suit me we part, we find someone else more suitable. When I was googling pictures for ‘co-habitation’ this picture kept coming up. (picture of boxes labelled 'His' and 'Hers') I was wondering why? What? What’s? I mean, you search google images, it says ‘co-habitation’, it comes out this picture. So what’s this? So I was trying to figure out what this means. I asked the first service, nobody told me. So let me share with you what I think it is.
Co-habitation is when you and your partner bring your own things and you stay in the same house. So you have her stuff and his stuff, you put together. But cohabitation is leaving your stuff in boxes. You shouldn’t unpack them. Why? Because cohabitation is you must be ready to come in together and ready to move out any time, so don’t unpack too much. It’s not going to be a lasting arrangement. That’s what cohabitation really signifies. What this means, I am trying to say, is co-habitation is never secure. You think co-habitation is a great idea. Aiyah, why does God want to bind us in marriage? Why can’t we just have co-habitation? So much easier, so much convenient. Because co-habitation never gives you security. It's almost like this lady who says I hope my smile is warm enough for him. I hope that I’m good enough for him. I hope I can prove my worth. I hope I can still capture his imagination. I hope I can still be someone he loves because I know in co-habitation the moment I don’t meet his needs or meet her needs, its poof! Its gone! There is no real security. I’m always having to be tirelessly proving myself, making myself interesting and I can never be rested, secure and satisfied. Co-habitation doesn’t give security.
In contrast to that, marriage, Christ-centred marriage, is not a relationship of convenience, it’s a relationship of commitment, it’s a covenant. It is to say, for better or for worse I am with you. It doesn’t matter if you can’t meet my needs as I thought it would be. I’m covenanted to you. You don’t have to put on a face mask, you don’t have to put on a façade, we are committed together. So you don’t feel insecure, you feel safe, you feel accepted. In the Bible’s words, you feel naked and not ashamed. You don’t have to fear and that is why marriage is far superior than any co-habiting habits or lifestyle people may have.
And this is vital. It is in marriage that you can see that security. And when you have a secure marriage, that’s where after you see your own sinfulness, you don’t despair because now you are able to work out the differences and grow stronger even in the midst of those sinfulness. Why? Because when you are secure you can really learn to accept and forgive, admit and forgive. I mean when you are in a secure relationship, you don’t have to be hiding. You can be open with your spouse because you know that you are together for life. And if you have done something wrong you can open up to him or to her and ask him or her for forgiveness. This is where you grow. That’s where you can offer forgiveness to those or to your spouse who have wronged you. That’s where you grow. Because in forgiveness you learn to receive the forgiveness of Jesus and you bend it horizontally to those around you, including your spouse.
I am not a fan of Lau Tzu, not that I have studied him. I’m not saying I’m teaching from Lau Tzu, but common human wisdom I will put it this way. Common human wisdom realises in marriage you need forgiveness. He says (I do not know what’s the Chinese version alright) : “Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins”. What is his point? The point is, in marriage you have got to learn to forgive and you can only really forgive if you are in a secure marriage not a co-habiting, casual, convenient relationship.
Ruth Bell Graham says, 'A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers'. That’s where you learn. You know forgiveness is such a vital lesson to learn for our spiritual life. Understand how God forgives me and how I release forgiveness and how I receive forgiveness. That’s how you grow. Christian living is a lot of grace and mercy and forgiveness.
The best way and best place to experience that - marriage. But the question you have is, 'Pastor, does this mean that marriage is all about forgiveness only and we just endure and just bear with his bad sinful ways and we don’t do anything about it?' No, not true. You don’t just only forgive, you don’t just only endure because you do have a responsibility to help your partner grow. You do have. You say where do you find in the Bible. Well, I see it in Galatians 6:1 (Slide – Restore the overtaken). You might be familiar with the verse : 'You who are spiritual, restore such a one who is overtaken with a fault. He has stumbled into sin'.
If your wife has stumbled into sin, the husband, as also a brother, is responsible to help her get out of sin. And you know something. Helping someone get out of sin requires security. People often say, 'Pastor, can you go and speak to him. He’s living in sin'. I say I can but there must be a willingness to divulge, there must be a willingness to confide and relationship is vital to helping anyone. Of course there are times we have to step in regardless of whether the relationship can bear it up or not. But by and large, to be effective in helping someone, security and confidence and trust is vital. And that’s why a marriage is ideal. Because when your wife tells you something, you should change. You know she is for you and not against you. It opens your heart to receive that much better. So we are to be burden bearers. (Slide: Burden bearers Galatians 6:1-6, 7-16). Meaning we help each other with burdens they carry so that they can live a more righteous and holy life. And because in marriage there is security, there is no need to be ashamed.
Slide:
"Shame is the raincoat of the soul,
repelling the living water that would otherwise
establish us as the beloved of God.
It prevents us from receiving grace and truth
where we need them most."
- Andrew Comiskey
Now, this is a statement I think primarily true with regards to God. If we are ashamed we run from God, we can’t receive the blessings that He wants us to have. That’s why the Bible tells us that we need to walk in the light. In 1 John, that we may confess our sins, forgive us that we may be restored to fellowship. We need not be ashamed if we realise that God is a God of grace. But isn’t this also true when it comes to human relationships? If I am ashamed before you I would not have you help me. But in a marriage, you can be naked and not ashamed, because there is security, a security that’s based on a covenant, a covenant that mirrors that of Christ and the Church.
Therefore, security is vital to growth. So marriage is an ideal lab, is an ideal nursery for spiritual growth because No. 1, it allows you to see your sinfulness, No. 2, it offers you the most nurturing, warm, accepting environment. It gives you security to learn about forgiveness, to exhort one another, to restore your spouse.
#3. Marriage is where I can see my Satisfaction
Thirdly and lastly, marriage is also where I can see my satisfaction. You see, spiritual growth is about finding our bulls-eye in God. Most of us, we enter into marriage with this dream that if I catch the dream guy or I catch the dream girl, my life will be satisfied, it will be a dream come true. But do you realise that after you get married it’s always a disillusionment. Always! Because he or she, not because she is not good or he is not good, but at the end of the day your spouse is merely human. No matter how good he is, no matter how good she is, how virtuous, how kind, how generous, he or she is merely human and he or she can never satisfy you. Why? Because we are made in the image of God to worship and enjoy God. Nothing less than God can satisfy the huge hunger for God. So when you get married with the dream of saying, 'if I have him, if I have her, life will be great', will be dashed and you will mature by realising marriage is where I see can my ultimate satisfaction in Jesus Christ. Marriage can’t be your everything, it can’t. You watch TV shows, dramas, Korean, I don’t know I’ve never watched Korean but I’m sure the story is like “tian tsing wan ku” (Chinese words) wah, so many problems but eventually you get married to the guy/girl and then the music tat a tat a tat a. I don’t know what lah, but happy music, and the end. And we walk away with the idea happily ever after. Marriage is absolutely fulfilling. My point to you, no, marriage can’t be everything. It is not meant to be. In fact, marriage is to highlight to you the inadequacy of all the natural comforts we find in this world. They are incomparable to the satisfaction found in Jesus Christ.
Oswald Chambers puts it well. He says :
“If we love a human being and do not love God, we demand of him (the human being) every perfection and every rectitude and when we don’t get it we become cruel and vindictive. We are demanding that of a human being that which he or she cannot give. There is only one Being Who can satisfy the last-aching abyss of the human heart, and that is, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Marriage is a journey of realisation. It is a journey of moving from disillusionment to finding ultimate satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
That's why, marriage is where you become the Real Deal. You say, 'Why Pastor? Why is it that marriage is for me to be changed?' I say No. 1, it shows you your sinfulness like nothing else, adds pressure to your life like nothing else. Marriage is also where you see your security. This is where I can really be accepted, this is where I feel safe and where I can experience forgiveness and where I can encourage and be encouraged in my spiritual growth without fearing that I’m despised. And marriage is where you see your satisfaction. It’s Christ. How come I didn’t realise that earlier? Well, God put you in marriage so that you may now realise it’s Christ. So this is the key statement for our 3rd sermon. Marriage is where I can become the Real Deal.
Marriage is not so much about comfort, it’s character, not so much happiness, but holiness. This is, I put it this way: Marriage is the perfect disguise from God to enlist you into the best discipleship programme. It is. He got you into marriage and wow, I didn’t know what I was in. But I was enlisted into marriage and here I go, I’m trained I’m growing I’m being discipled to be more like Jesus. To be all that God wants me to be. I say this is probably one of the most neglected areas of discipleship for Christians. We always think of discipleship as taking place on Sunday mornings. Wah, I come to church because I am discipled in the Word of God. I understand what the Bible says. Great discipleship! But how long does it take? How long is this kind of discipleship? The preaching - 45 minutes, one hour? Or we think of discipleship in care group. Ah, I go for care group At least I’m a good Christian I participate in body life and I go for one and half hours. I study the Bible, I share there’s where I also get discipled. That’s true, but how long is that? One and half hours. You add that up - is how long? 2½ hours. It may be even shorter than some movies today. But do you realise God has placed you in environments and relationships for discipleship throughout your week? Not just in church, not just in care group, but in your family. How you interact with your spouse, how you treat your children, how you relate to the people in the work place. All those things are where God helps you to be the Real Deal. So let me say this again - Relationships are for discipleship.
One of the great wonders of the world today is the Himalayas. Just gorgeous when you look at pictures like this. Tall mountain peaks and absolutely grand and gorgeous. But how did they come about? Did God drop them from the sky? No. If you know any Science, I’m sure you do, or Geography, you realise that they come about because of the movement of the earth plates and they collide and they clash together. So when the tectonic plates clash, their conflict, what happens is that the Himalayas are formed, the ridges, the range is formed. I say this is what marriage is like, you know.
Marriage is the movement of a wife, the husband, sometimes together. But it’s not for no reason God allows you to collide. God allows you to have friction one with another. Because this is God’s Will that in your life there is something grand and glorious that will pop out - the life of Christ. In every decision you make, in every situation God places you in, His intention is for you to grow through it all. Relationships are for discipleship. I think the earlier a husband and wife realise we are on the same side, the better it is. We are not fighting each other, but we are saying to each other : Dear, marriage is tough. We are going to have conflicts, we are going to have arguments because we are both different and we are both very flawed and sinful. But let us realise we are on the same side. Through the conflicts let there be love in the midst of war, okay? Through the conflicts let us grow and help each other grow, because we realise marriage is where I, you, can become the Real Deal. It’s not about getting our way. It’s having Christ’s way through us. I dream of this, I dream that when I’m 70, 80, 90 years old before I die, I will be able to hold my wife’s hand and both of us will look at each other and say : We made it. Thank God for His grace. Now that is just before we die lah. We made it and thank God for sustaining us all these years. Thank God for His grace in using you to change me. Even your behaviour that has drawn out the ugly behaviour in me. And I hope I have been used by the Lord to help you grow as well. Both of us, because of each other, we have experienced the Gospel in deeper ways. We made it. And when we die and we get to heaven and I see her on the other side, no more husband and wife of course, but I say : Look at you. Wow, I always knew you would become like this. I saw glimpses of this on earth and I am so glad for who you are today.
You know that’s what marriage is all about. It's not getting our way on this earth here, but pilgrimaging together, being on this pilgrimage together, growing and deepening in our likeness to Jesus. I wish for your marriage to be a sweet one not because it is easy but because it is sanctifying, because it brings you more and more like Jesus and because the ranges of grandeur and beauty is seen in your life.
Marriage is where mystery becomes majesty. Jesus is enough, and so let us endeavour to be the Real Deal that glorifies God.
Let’s bow for a word of prayer :
This morning I endeavour to just encourage you to have a mindset shift. At the end of so much that has been spoken it just is about this mindset shift. Am I into marriage to change my spouse or do I look at marriage and say God use it to change me. Have you been frustrated in your marriage? Are you angry with your spouse? Maybe you have been looking in the wrong direction. Look within. God has placed you in your marriage so as to teach you and to grow you. This is the plan, the beauty of God. Relationships are for discipleship. Maybe for today this is a brand new discovery. I rejoice for you because that means you have a fresh start you have a fresh perspective and I say it to you perspective is so important to spiritual life. If you have neglected marriage as an avenue and environment for growth you would not be the person God wants you to be. But today, maybe by His Spirit He has opened a whole new vista in your understanding and you can be confident as He has done that work in your heart, you can trust Him to enable you to be the man or the woman God wants you to be and enjoy marriage as a process of growth. Maybe this morning you are reminded of your own sinfulness like I am. Seeing the ugliness in me the way I treat my spouse, the way I look at things, so unworthy. But bring it to the cross where there is forgiveness where there is redemption and where there is change. Hey, you can come to God because He is a God of grace. He’s not here to condemn you. He’s here to change and correct you. So come to Jesus. He alone is enough. Maybe, you are here and do not know Christ. You struggle in your marriage. I’m not surprised because, as far as I know, marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough. Maybe God allows you to go through a really difficult marriage so that you may learn you need Jesus in your life. We are made to depend on God.
So maybe this an opportunity for you to say : “ Lord I surrender. I can’t do this anymore. I need You in my life. I thank You for the forgiveness that is found in Jesus your Son. I believe in Him. He alone is God. Save me from my sins. Come into my life. Revive my marriage that the world may know You are God.” Whatever is in your heart this morning, would you bring to the Lord right now in a word of prayer. This is not just about listening. It’s about responding to God. Only Jesus is enough.
Father, we thank You this morning for Your Word. According to our needs, by Your spirit, address them, meet them. Thank You that You are always so gracious, always available for help. Teach us to stop being proud and start looking to You. Work in the depths of our hearts so that we are not just better husbands or wives or people because of our behaviour, but change us from the inside out by the Gospel. We bring our lives to You. We ask for You also today to work in the hearts of our guests, our friends who may not know Jesus as yet. Lord, have mercy that each one will come to know the love of God in Jesus Christ.
Save them from their sin, bring them to salvation and life. Help them believe in Your Son. We pray all these now in Jesus’ Name. Amen. God Bless.