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A very good morning to all of you and welcome to Gospel Light Christian Church, our Sunday service online. Whether you are a regular member of Gospel Light, or a new visitor, we want to welcome you to our midst. Thank you for joining us.

I want to say to all our regular members in Gospel Light, “I know that for these past few months, it is not easy to worship God in a way that we have been doing. And I know it's not easy to look at a computer screen or the TV screen every Sunday.”

But I want to affirm and appreciate your effort in doing so, that you want to keep hearing God's Word and worshiping God together as an online community. So I want to keep encouraging you to do so, till the Lord shows us a better way forward. Nevertheless, we are thankful for the ministry of His Holy Spirit in all our hearts. I believe even right now, right where you are, God can speak to you and His Spirit is working in your life.

We are thankful that we have the Word of God this morning and we continue to explore the book of Genesis together. We arrive today at Genesis, chapter 2 and I begin with a familiar illustration I've used before.

A young pastor was about to officiate his first wedding ceremony. He was obviously unsure of what to do, so he asked his founding or senior pastor what he should do. And the pastor said to him, “Don't worry, when you get nervous just recite a Bible verse, you will be alright.”

So on that day itself, he was officiating that wedding ceremony when he suddenly forgot all that he had to say. His mind went blank! And that he remembered his pastor's advice - just quote a Bible verse. So as the couple stood before him, He then said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Well, this morning, we're looking at marriage. And for many people, they don't really understand what marriage is all about - they do not know what they do. But as Christians, we have the privilege of having God's Word to reveal to us, what marriage is all about. And what better passage to understand marriage than to look at the prototype of marriage, the very first marriage that God had brought about.

We, today come to Genesis, chapter 2, and we're going to look at the marriage model. We're going to see the very first prototype marriage in the world. And we're going to learn a few things from this story.

[1] The Gift of Marriage
I like us to first see in this passage, the gift of marriage. Marriage is a gift from God. Marriage is given by God. Marriage is God's idea. God is the One who invented marriage, created marriage, made marriage and this is where we read of this gift. “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him.”’ [Genesis 2”18]

So God is the One who saw the need, who saw that … that provision for man, in the form of a wife. And so Adam, at that point of time was given exposure to all livestock and to the birds and to every beast. But, “Adam knew that there was not a suitable helper for him”, [Genesis 2:20] there was not found a helper fit for him.

So it is in that context, in that context of lack, that God now provides the gift of a wife to Adam. “The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man.” [Genesis 2:21] So the Bible tells us, in a sense, God was the first anesthetist, who caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep.

And then God became the first cardiothoracic surgeon, while he slept, “He took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh, and then the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, He made into a woman, and brought her to the man.” [Genesis 2:22] So God became also the first match maker.

So when Adam saw Eve, the man saw the woman, he said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh …” [Genesis 2:23] I mean to Adam Eve was an absolute knock out. I mean, he was amazed at how appropriate, how fitting and probably how beautiful Eve is. “… She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.”

So we see that God is the One who created marriage. God is the One who made Adam made Eve and brought them together. God's plan for marriage is that it will be a union between a man and a woman. I think that goes without saying.

In other words, as we often joke, God did not create marriage for Adam and Steve, but Adam and Eve. Likewise, God did not create marriage for Amy and Eve, but Adam and Eve. It is between a man and a woman.

And because they are different, they are also different roles given to man and to woman. Now, it doesn't mean that man is superior or woman is inferior. No! But that God has an order and God has different roles for the man and the woman. That's what a marriage is about.

The man, Adam, is supposed to be the leader. He's supposed to be the head of the family. It's not because he is smarter all the time. It's not because man is stronger, or man is more capable. It's just that in God's order of marriage, He has ordained that the man would be the head, would be the leader. And now, that doesn't mean that the man is to bully the wife.

I like what Matthew Henry, that commentator has to say. He said … now, this is not from the Bible, but it makes good sense, in a way… He said that, “God made woman, God made the wife from Adam's ribs for a reason. God did not make the woman from Adam’s skull, so that she will not rule over him. Neither did He make the woman from Adam's foot, so that he will not trample upon her. But He made a woman from Adam's side, so that Adam would put his arms around to protect her, so that Adam would know that she's someone dear to his heart.”

And I think that makes good sense. A man in the family is to be the head, but he's not to bully her, but to love her, and indeed to cherish her. The Bible tells us, “In the same way husbands should love their wives … ” [Ephesians 5:28 -29] And then it later on tells us that we should, “… cherish our wives.” So man is given headship to love and to cherish our wives.

Now, the word, ‘cherish’ is very interesting. It's a word that means to warm. It's, it's used to depict a bird, a mother bird sitting on the eggs to warm, incubate the eggs, as it were. And so husbands, you are to sit on your wives, alright, not to bully her, but to warm her like a mother bird warming the eggs. We are to cherish our wives.

How about wives? Well, the role of the wife is not to be the head, the role of the wife is to be the helper. Again, that's back in Genesis, chapter 2, “I will make him a helper fit for him.” [Genesis 2:18] In other words, she's not to dominate him, she's not to rule over him but she's to support him and to help him.

Story is told of a man, he went to a library. And he asked the librarian, “I … I need to find this book. Can you tell me which section it is in?” “Alright, tell me the title of the book”, she said. And he said to her, “The title is “The husband, the head of the family.”’ The librarian then said, “That is fiction. It is found in that section, there.” Hah …

To many people, a man leading the family is pure fiction, because the real ruler at home is the dominant wife. But that ought not to be! God's plan for marriage, God's gift for marriage is between a man and a woman. The man is to be the head, and the wife is to be the helper. And the Bible tells us that her key responsibility is to, “Submit to her own husbands.” [Ephesians 5:22-23]

That's her main responsibility to submit, to support. Now, that doesn't mean she's to be bullied, that doesn't mean that she cannot air her thoughts and her opinions. But ultimately, all that she does is to submit, to support, to enable the husband to lead the family well.

So it's very important for us to understand these principles, because that's how God has invented, created and ordained marriage. So let's cherish marriage, let's fulfill our roles well, so that God may be glorified therein.

[2] The Glue of Marriage
Now, number two, I'd like to share with you from this text, the glue of marriage. Now, marriage is not easy. We know that in our world today, one in three marriages in Singapore end up with divorces. It's about one in two in the United States. And I'm sure, I'm very sure that these statistics will only grow over time. With more and more years rolling by, we would see more and more divorces.

You say, “Why?” Well, because we are sinful and because man, we do not understand God's plan for marriage. It is said that a marriage is like a deck of cards. You know, poker cards. They say, “Marriage is like a deck of cards.”

In the beginning, marriage between a man and a woman is like two hearts and a diamond. But as years go by, you wish I or your marriage will be wishing that you have a club and the spade. Think about what I had to say, alright. But marriage is really difficult, it's not easy.

However, the Bible does tell us about the glue of marriage - what keeps marriage together. I'm pretty sure, if you go to any bookstores today that sells books about marriages and relationships, you'll find many, many titles.

And people make good money out of writing marriage books: 7 secrets, 5 principles, 3 tips, whatever. They have all these books about making marriage work. But I think there is no better book in the world than that of the Bible.

The glue of marriage, I think is found in verses 24 and 25, here, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” So very interesting words, in particular, verse 25, we're going to look at that in a while. But let me just share a few thoughts from these two sentences about what marriage or what makes marriage work.

Number one, let's see that a man is to leave his father and his mother. What does that mean? Does this mean that when I get married, I will have nothing to do with my parents? Does this mean that when I'm married, I will have to move out of the house and not stay there? What is God really saying here?

Now I suggest to you, that when the Bible says, “When a man, a man is to leave his father and mother.” It is definitely not saying that we should abandon our parents. We should honor our parents. The Bible commands us in the 10 commandments. And the Bible also says that, “If we do not provide for our own, especially for those who have needs, we are worse than an infidel.”

So it's very clear that this is not telling us to abandon our parents. I also don't think this is necessarily saying that you need to immediately move out of your parents’ house. Now, I'm sure there are many advantages to you moving out of your parents’ house to establish your family in a new place, by yourselves.

I think there are certainly advantages there. But I don't think it is a sin for you and your wife, or you and your husband to stay in your parents’ house, for example. The reason why I will say so is, what if your parents are alone and sick, and they need you to take care of them? Would it be sin for you to take care of them? No! In other words, it will not be sin for you to stay with them during that season of your life.

So it is not literally saying that you need to leave them by abandoning them, or by leaving them in that you must stay as far as possible from them. But I do think this is teaching us about - the principle of priority.

For your marriage to work, you need to understand that the most important relationship in the world with anybody, with any human being is with your spouse. That is the number one relationship. You see, I realized marriages crumble and suffer when the husband for example, thinks that his first allegiance and loyalty, besides God is now to his parents and not to his spouse, his wife.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that, “Once you're married with your wife, you have every right to disrespect or to ignore your parents.” No! I'm saying, “Please continue to honor your parents, that is a God given responsibility.”

But you must understand that your most intimate and closest relationship now is with your wife, or with your husband. Marriages break down, when for example, the husband values the parents and listens to the parents above what the wife expresses. Or if a wife centers her life around the children and ignores the husband. That's a sure formula for disaster in your home.

Now, I know it's not always easy. The guy you married, the wife you married, you have many problems. You have many unhappiness, or dissatisfactions. But this is what God says, you need to set this relationship as the number one priority, apart from your relationship with God.

And then we see further that God says that, “The husband or the man is to hold fast to his wife.” It's not to grab her fast. The word, ‘hold fast’ is a way to say, hold tight. You are to cleave, to glue, to cling on, to stick to. So herein, I think is the glue of marriage, that there is such a fierce commitment, unwavering, clinging on to your spouse, come what may.

In other words, the secret to making a marriage work is your commitment to your spouse, regardless. It's your understanding that you have made a covenant before God and men, that for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part, you will cling on to your spouse.

Now, when we say, “Hold fast to your wife”, it doesn't mean just stay legally married or to live under the same roof alone. It means that you work, you commit your effort, you give yourself to loving your wife. And as a wife, you give yourself to submitting and respecting your husband. You are giving every effort to fulfill the role God has given to you.

And also, I want to say, “You hold fast to your spouse, not just when she is beautiful, or not just when he is capable, not just when both of you are reasonable. But you hold fast, regardless whether he has become fat or short or stupid or sick. It doesn't matter! You hold fast to this man. You hold fast to this woman that God has given to you in your marriage.”

I think that's what commitment is about! That's what a covenant is about! That's what a marriage is about! It's not a relationship of convenience. It's a relationship of firm, fierce, unwavering commitment, and covenant keeping.

And then we see this interesting phrase, “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Now, that's interesting! For us, we live in a day where there's a lot of shame. That's why we all wear clothes and … and the more clothes I wear, the maybe the more secure I feel.

But in that day, Adam and Eve, they were both naked and were not ashamed, you say, “Why?” Well, it may be that they were not ashamed because they were so perfect. There was absolutely no flaw in them - not in their physical appearance, nor in the way they are. They are sinless, and therefore they were not ashamed because they were perfect.

But I think there's a second reason to that and that is not just because they were perfect, but because they were in a perfect relationship one with another. There was absolutely no fear of disapproval because there was perfect love. There was a perfect commitment to each other in that day.

I think I could read that they were both naked and not ashamed because they understood what it means to hold fast. The reason why I would suggest that they were not ashamed, not just because they were perfect in appearance and in nature, but also perfect in their commitment and love between each other is because we read that in Genesis, chapter 3, after they fell into sin, after they rebelled against God, we read of them falling into guilt and shame.

We see, in verse 7 of chapter 3, “They knew now that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” So right after sin, they became ashamed, they became guilty. They now have a sense of their own unworthiness.

Now, why? I suggest to you, it's not because that after sin, they immediately became ugly or imperfect or pimples came up straight away. I don't think so. But the reason that they became ashamed is because now they have a deep sense of guilt and shame. They have the darkness of the soul. They knew they were polluted. They knew that they were filthy, and they know also didn't have the confidence. And they couldn't rely on the other, to love him or her perfectly.

So Adam is filled with shame, because he sinned against God, because he knew that he did something wrong, because there is guilt in his system. And because he looked at Eve said, “I can't trust her to love me anymore. She's self-centered now. She's ruined in sin now. She's contaminated and corrupted now. I can't trust her. I have a fear of being disapproved by Eve now.”

And Eve likewise, will look at them and said, “I can't trust him to love me the way he's supposed to love me anymore.” And so they began … began to be ashamed and hid themselves. They were guilty before God and ashamed before each other.

So sin had now ruined relationships. And the first relationship of course, being ruined is that between God and man, and the second relationship is between the man and the woman. There is now distrust. There is not a fear of disapproval. There is now guilt and shame.

However, the principle that God has given in the Bible, even though man has fallen into sin, has not been taken away. Because we know later on in the Bible, for example, in Ephesians, chapter 5, that this is still God's command for marriage. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [Ephesians 5:31] This is the principle given before the fall and this is still the principle after the fall.

That commitment, that covenant keeping between a man and a woman is still valid for a fallen humanity. In fact, I would suggest to you that this covenant keeping, this commitment is even more important after the fall. Because before the fall, you are perfect, there is nothing to be ashamed of. But after the fall, you know you're corrupted and that's why this covenant keeping, this commitment is so important.

The way for you to have real intimacy in marriage is not that you can be perfect. But that you have this covenant keeping, this commitment that you can hold on to, that will cover the multitude of sins. So one way is for you to be flawless, but the other way is for you to have perfect covenant keeping love, that it may cover those flaws.

And so I say to you in your marriage, “What you desperately need, is to come to God afresh and anew.” And to say, “Yes, this is the wisdom of God for my marriage. It is not that I treat my wife conditionally based on how she looks, how she behaves, how she performs. It is not only submitting to my husband, when [sic: she], he is worthy, or when he's capable, or that I will stick with him, if only he is good enough for me.”

But it is that the man and a woman will see this is the glue, this is the commitment that we need. This is the covenant keeping that we need. And all the more, now that we are sinful. In other words, it is about sacrifice and effort and a dying to self, for your marriage to work out.

So God tells us, that He has given men this wonderful gift of marriage. Regardless of how difficult it is, we need to understand that a marriage is a gift from God. And in order for this marriage to work, it takes nothing less than your understanding and your commitment to this covenant keeping love for each other at home. Regardless of how they perform, regardless of how things turn out, you are committed before God and before men.

[3] The Glory of Marriage
Finally, I want to share with you the glory of marriage. Again, we come back to this reference to Genesis 2. Ephesians, chapter 5:31-32 quotes from Genesis, chapter 2. And then the Apostle Paul gives us an additional insight. He says, “This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

So what Paul is saying is that, “The union between a man and a woman, yes, is between a man and a woman. But it is not just between a man and a woman because this union between a man and a woman is supposed to reflect, is supposed to portray, is supposed to show, is supposed to reveal something more than just a man and a woman. Is supposed to show you something that is greater, something that is cosmic, something that is eternal, something that is divine.”

You say, “What it this? What is it?” It is that union between Christ and His Church. In other words, your marriage or marriages are meant to be little displays, little mirrors, little portrayals of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, of the Good News that Christ came to die for His people, and to save them for Himself. How Christ is united with His church in this blessed union.

So our marriage, your marriage is supposed to be a window of time that allows people to get a glance, a glimpse into the eternal union between Christ and the church. And the way you love your wife and not give up on her, but you fight to love her, to cherish her. The way you do so, is meant to help people see the way Christ never gives up on His church.

So, this is the glorious purpose of marriage! Yes, marriage is a beautiful gift, so that you may have a partner in life. Marriage is given so that we can have procreation, that we can multiply and have children. Yes, marriage is meant to give us wonderful pleasures. But that cosmic, divine, celestial eternal purpose is also given here, that it is meant to be a portrayal of Christ and His church.

I like what Piper has to say here, “Marriage was designed from the beginning to display Christ and the church, …”, that's Ephesians, 5:31 and 32, “… and the very essence of the New Covenant is that Christ passes over sins in His Bride. His Bride is free from shame …” remember, naked and not ashamed, “… not because she is perfect …”, because now with the fall we are not, “… but because she has no fear that her lover will condemn her or shame with her sin …”

Isn't that the way our relationship is with Jesus? We have no guilt, no shame, not because we are truly innocent, but because Jesus paid it all. And because Jesus loves us unconditionally in such a way, that nothing shall separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. And therefore I come to God, cleansed, washed, rejoicing. I do not have to come in shame.

My friends, that's the way you need to love your wife, for her to see, for her to know, for her to feel, for her to understand that she though flawed as a sinner, will not fear that you will condemn or shame her.

And so, he goes on to say, “… This is why the doctrine of justification …”, the way God forgives us, “… is at the very heart of what makes marriage work. It creates peace with God vertically, in spite of our sin. And when experienced horizontally, it creates a shame-free peace between an imperfect man and an imperfect woman.” [John Piper]

So my friends today, reflect on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Oh, drink it in! Drink it in! Think about it, that Christ is so committed to you, because He has covenanted with His church. That even though we are still a people stumbling forward in sin, He does not shame us, and He will never forsake us.

And as you drink it into your soul today, bend it horizontally outwards, towards the people around you, and especially towards your spouse, to your wife and to your husband. That's what a Gospel-centered marriage means. That you understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ for you and you are fiercely committed to your marriage with this love that you have experienced. This unconditional love you have experienced.

“Therefore, let each one of you love his wife as himself, … ” [Ephesians 5:33] The Bible doesn't say, “Love your lovely wife. Love your beautiful wife. Love your slender wife. Love your pimple free wife. Love your reasonable wife. Just - love your wife.”

If I may add, love your imperfect wife, the way Christ loves His imperfect church and see. “And let the wife see that she respects her husband.” [Ephesians 5:33] Not because your husband is absolutely capable or flawless, but because you see that, that's the way the church is to submit to a Savior. That's the way you support, submit and you respect your own husband.

Whenever I come to marriage, I always remember Robertson McQuilkin - a man of commitment. A man who understands what it means to make a vow. A man who keeps his word. A man who keeps his covenant with his wife. I'd like you to take a look at this little video clip, before we end our message today.

“I haven't in my life, experienced easy decision making on major decisions, but one of the simplest and clearest decisions I've had to make is this one, because circumstances dictated it. Muriel now, in the last couple of months, seems to be almost happy when with me, and almost never happy when not with me. In fact, she seems to feel trapped, becomes very fearful, sometimes almost terror, and when she can't get to me, there can be anger, she's in distress …”

“… But when I'm with her, she's happy and contented. And so I must be with her at all times, and you see, it's not only that I promised in sickness and in health, till death do us part, and I am a man of my word. But as I have said, I don't know with this group, but I've said publicly, it's the only fair thing. She sacrificed for me for 40 years to make my life possible … so if I cared for her for 40 years, I still be in debt. However, there's much more … It's not that I have to, but I get to. I love her very dearly and you can tell it's not easy to talk about. She's a delight. And a great honor to care for such a wonderful person.

Well, I hope this has been a blessing to you. If you are single today, I do not want you to walk away from this message thinking, “Oh, church and the Bible only values the married and we despise singleness.” No, not at all!

I want to tell you, marriage is good, it's found in Genesis, chapter 2, but singleness is also good. Marriage is great, but singleness is also great. The Bible equally tells us that God has His plans and purposes, glorious ones for single people. The apostle Paul, for example was single. And he lived his life for the glory of God not getting married thereafter.

And if you want to find out more about singleness, I want to encourage you to check out our sermons. In our “Home Fix” series, there's a whole message about singleness. And I hope that, that will be a blessing to you.

But I want to assure you, that singleness is not an inferior way to live. Because ultimately, it does not matter whether you're married or unmarried. Ultimately, what matters is how do we live for the glory of God.

And maybe today you're single but you long to be married, you know that you are not gifted with celibacy, you are not gifted with singleness. In this meanwhile, what do you do? I want to encourage you be the kind of person that your future spouse will want to marry.

Invest yourself in growing in God, understanding the Gospel. And steward this season of your life, for His glory. Don't be all obsessed about finding a spouse. Be committed, seek first the Kingdom of God, and trust that your God will provide for your needs.

Maybe you are already married and it's not easy for you to stay married. You're wishing that your spouse will improve here and improve there. I say to you, “Don't do that!” The ball is in your court. Remember what marriage is all about? The glue is when you are committed to keeping this covenant of marriage. Do that.

Be the kind of husband, be the kind of wife God wants you to be, because that's what it means to display the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you are today living in sin, I pray you'll repent, I pray you'll reconcile. I pray you'll forgive, so that your marriage will be that window that allows people a glimpse at the glory of the Gospel.

Maybe some of you today are divorced. I want to encourage you that even though divorce is a painful, and a sad reality, again, it is not the ultimate thing. The ultimate thing is our union with Christ. The ultimate thing is that eternal joy when our Bridegroom returns for us. So do not be crushed. Look to that final, ultimate reality and use this season of your life again for His glory.

This is a simple but I hope insightful look at marriage and the relationships therein. I pray that God will give you grace to live out His will and through your marriages, may God be glorified. God bless.

Let's bow forward of pray together. Father, we are thankful today for a simple but rich look at Genesis, chapter 2. Please bless our homes, we give our homes to You. And I pray for those today who are single, that they will be in the center of Your will. I pray for those who are divorced, that they will also walk in joy and serve You.

I pray also for friends who may be listening in for the first time or who may not know Jesus as yet. I pray that they would see Your unconditional love toward us, in sending Your Son to die and to save us from our sins. Please turn these dear friends to repentance and faith in Jesus that they might be saved.

So Lord once again, bless our homes. We give our homes to You, glorify Yourself through them. Thank You, we pray all this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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