I was born into a Christian family and always thought that being a Christian or being born again just involved accepting Jesus into my heart. I didn't bother much about growing my faith ever. In the last couple of years, I found it difficult to speak to God-I felt guilty for the distance that I had put between myself and Him, and it felt as if the Lord had abandoned me and never wanted to speak to me again. I had never wanted to get baptized either because I always thought that I didn't fully understand what it really meant.
Late last year, I felt God calling me, poking me, and telling me to turn back to Him. I remember for the first time in years when I opened a notebook to write to Him, I didn't know what to say, but I knew what He wanted me to do. I took some time off and decided to make some major changes in my life. I ended an unequally yoked relationship, and that was the catalyst to turning me back to God. Then I realized He had been calling me all these years. In the last few months, God has really shown me His love-through His Word, through prayer, and through His Son Jesus Christ. He also taught me what it means to crucify my own fleshly desires. Even though I still struggle with sin, it just doesn't feel good anymore when I know it's something that hurts my relationship with God. I still find myself internally wrestling with God over control of my life and my future. But I've built a deeper relationship with Him and surrender become easier each time. I know now what it's truly like to be a born-again Christian.