Growing up, I didn't really think about my purpose in life or had any concern about if there even was a God. I went with the flow and tried to excel wherever I was. In university, however, I was always stressed because I wasn't doing as well as I did before and was always on the verge of failing. I felt regretful for my choice of studies and scholarship and was miserable most of the time.
About 4 years back, I started dating a Christian and he told me that I had to accept Christ if we were to ever get married. I didn't understand the reason for this and his answers didn't satisfy either, probably because he wasn't saved then but thought he was. I started attending services in Gospel Light with him but found the sermons really boring. At the back of my head, there was always a 'deadline' I gave to whether I would accept Christ, and this would decide how our relationship would work out. My intentions were wrong and I really had not understood the gospel. Christianity was still another faith to me, but being 'saved' sounded like a good thing.
We decided to join a care group to learn more about the faith from other young adults. I started to understand what set apart Christianity from other gods, but Jesus' death and resurrection was still head knowledge to me. I felt it wasn't fair for some to be saved whilst others weren't, even though I believe everybody was a sinner. When I finally learned that salvation was a gift and that it was useless if I did not receive it, this became a turning point in my journey. In the past 2 years, I've truly come to understand what it means to be saved by grace alone through faith so that a sinner like me could be reconciled to a Holy God.
I hope to continue growing in my faith and learn to fully surrender my life to God so I can be fruitful for the Kingdom. Although I struggle to find joy in God alone and not get distracted by earthly things, I'm so glad that I know everything that has happened and will happen are in God's hands.
Eph. 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith… it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.