03 Feb 2019

The Excellent Wife [1Peter 3:1-6]


Pro 31:10 speaks about an excellent wife. An excellent wife is respectful towards her husband. Just as a man is to love his wife, a woman must respect her husband (Eph 5:33). A man needs to be respected. And God has commanded the wife to respect her husband. Nothing thrills the heart of a man than to know how his wife appreciates him, prays for him and supports him. Whilst it is very common for people to think that respect has to be earned, the Bible actually commands wives to respect your husbands even when it is difficult to do so. In fact, God commands wives to obey their unbelieving husbands! (1Pet 3:1) So why should you wives respect your husband? Why is it so hard to submit to him? How will obedience to your husband result in blessings? If you have these questions, do check out this sermon and may God make you an excellent wife indeed!


Sermon Transcript

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Home fix is really a series where we hope to see the Gospel, the love of God in Jesus Christ beautifully applied to the various relationships at home now, we begin with because of the most important relationship in this nine part series in our families, in our marriages and we realize that marriage is not so easy as some people think marriage is really, really tough and only Jesus is enough.

Some people say that when you get married you get three rings. First, you get an engagement ring and then you get your wedding ring and then you get your suffering. Marriage is not easy, it's not easy for a man to live with a woman in this new identity, one flesh or you may have in another way, a man is said to be incomplete before he is married and after he is married he is finished. Well, we laugh at, at jokes like that but it does tell you that it's not easy.

So we spent some time looking at the purpose of marriage. What is it all about. We look at the priority in marriage, it's not so much our happiness, but it's for our holiness. We look at the permanence of marriage and last week we looked at the role of the husband. Many of you wives makes, make sure your husband came for that and so today some of you men said I made sure my wife came today for the role of the wife and this is so important for us to grasp. I think it's so true, so common that the woman, the wife, the mother, she makes such a big difference in the family.

So today we are going to look at the role of the wife, some of you men said to me, wah, so I can sleep now, it's my turn to rest now. No, not so much, I hope you came, not so that you can catch a wink I hope you came so that you can listen to God's Word, God's will for your wife and that you can be here praying for your wife. I hope you don't listen to this message on the role of the wife to gather ammunition to shoot your wife. I hope it's so that you can pray that she will rise to be the kind of wife God wants her to be.

Now, so let me start by telling you in Proverbs 31, God speaks about an excellent wife, an excellent wife who can find, she is far more precious than jewels. An excellent wife in Hokkien we say this is tak khong wife, we want to have tak khong wives we want to have excellent wives Sat Sat Bo Chio wives so what does it mean to be an excellent wife, a very, very good wife.

Actually in the original Hebrew, the word excellent there is not really good or excellent the way we know it. The word there is better translated to relate to something like strength or strong or might. It's a word that is used for armies. So you may say a strong wife, a mighty wife, who can find. Now, what do you mean by strong wife probably the image you have is a wife like this. She bullies her husband because she is strong she's able to clobber him or maybe some of you think, strong means she can control her husband, even the finances, may be something like this, I control my husband, I'm a strong wife.

Well recently, there is this Facebook challenge you know that, Facebook challenge what is it about, well Facebook challenge ten year challenge, is you take a photo that you took 10 years ago in 2009 and then you take a photo you took this year in 2019 you put it together and you want to show the world how little or how much you have changed over the past 10 years, so that's the ten year challenge, I hope in your marriage the 10 year challenge will not look like this so 2009 both of you are married, very sweet, loving, meek, docile lady there and then 10 years later it becomes like this.

So when the Bible talks about Proverbs 31 an excellent wife, a strong wife, a mighty wife,I don't think it's about strength to subjugate your husband, but I think it's about strength of character, that is something that is of beauty to God in being a wife there's something about her character there's something about the heart that God longs for and delights in. You say what is it, well, can I ask you, what is the most important thing, a husband needs to do for his wife, a husband needs to be, what, what, a husband needs to be rich and since learning very practical this boy pragmatic whatever, no, a husband is to be caring, OK, good, another word, love his wife alright, a husband needs to be loving, so we saw that in Ephesians chapter 5. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, there's a threefold repetition in Ephesians 5 husbands, love your wives, husbands, love your wives, husbands, love your wives.

What is the most important thing for a wife to relate with his, with her husband. Excellent this is the first time I preach for two services, everyone gives me other answers but this is the first time you got it and I think you're absolutely spot on, because Ephesians 5:33 says, let the wife see that she respects her husband. Wives, if there's nothing you remember today, remember this, Ephesians 5:33 just as it is imperative for the husband to love his wife it is important for you to respect your husband I give you permission now to turn and look at your husband and you see that face and you say that is the one I am to respect.

Now, some of you may look at the face you see, jialat ah, I've no idea why I should respect him ah, I don't know where to start. Maybe that's your struggle and I hope that this message will help you or maybe some of you struggle with what do you mean by respect, what do I do when I say I respect, what do I do when I say I respect well I hope this message will also help you.

Let me say this, some of the things spoken of here maybe funny, but it is actually extremely difficult to do. I do not want to trivialize this because I know, maybe in our culture and society where women are very capable, equally capable, if not more capable than men, where women can earn more than men, when women are more regarded in the workplace than men, that it might seem so grating on you that we should say wives you have to respect your husbands.

I know it will be difficult for some and I think it's a challenge to not only agree to this, but to do this, but I pray that God will give you a heart that would say regardless of what society says, regardless of what culture I've been brought up in I would want to obey God's Word, and that's what we do here, we just want to preach and teach God's Word. So today, very simple wives, respect your husbands. What does that look like, how would it be for me and my family if I should really respect my husband.

So let me share with you why this is so important there's a psychologist Shaunti Feldhahn, it was said that in this book about, what women need to know about men, 74% of men interviewed said, I would rather be unloved for the rest of my life than to be disrespected for the rest of my life.

Women, you thrive on love, you feel satisfied, you are deeply encouraged when your husband showers you with love. That's what you will need that's what you're wired, that's how God made you. For men, it's different, women are from Venus, men are from Mars, we're from different planets and you are different, and according to this simple survey, it is said that man needs respect. So it is wise, it is true, it is wholesome for us to read in the Bible, therefore wives you've got to respect your husbands, it's important to him, that's what he needs.

Have you ever wondered why man, who's married with kids and have a good job would run away with another woman and have an affair, why would you do that. Maybe some of you say, because his lustful, maybe he's adulterous, yes, that maybe one reason but it's interesting that in the Bible we read of also another possible contribution to such sin.

In Proverbs chapter 2 we read so you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress, with her smooth words, it's interesting, it's, I don't read so much about how she looks here alone but with her words, she knows how to speak to him in a flattering way, she knows of the butter him up in a sense, she gives him what he doesn't get maybe at home and so with her words that flatter him that gives him maybe the respect he's always been searching for, but couldn't get, she draws him away.

Proverbs 7, with much seductive speech, she persuades him with her smooth talk, she compels him. So when the husband is at home and get no respect whatsoever perhaps that pushes him even more now that the fault is still his, the sin is still his, let's not, let's not excuse that away, but that's a symptom perhaps of a void in his heart, he needs respect and he doesn't get it. So wife's respect your husbands and let me just share with you a few things this might look like.

First of all I'm going to say, what this means, or what you shouldn't do alright, respecting your husband there are some things you shouldn't do and there's something you should do, so, let me start with some things you should not do if you say you respect your husband.

Number one, don't criticize and nag him constantly. You know what's this right, I see some finger-pointing already why? Don't criticize and nag him constantly. In Cantonese, we say this, Ngam Ngam Cham Cham, Ngam Ngam Cham Cham, Ngam Ngam Chan Cham, nyung, nyung, nyung, nyung, nyung, nyung, nyung, Cantonese say Wu Ying the Wu Ying, the fly flying around buzzing around and, and a man doesn't respond well to nagging, he has been perhaps nagged his whole life by his mom he doesn't need to be nag nagged for the rest of his life.

Now this doesn't mean, let me be clear, this doesn't mean that as a wife, you can't identify weaknesses, problems for and help him correct, you should as a good helper, you should, but it's very different from constantly criticizing and nagging.

This doesn't happen just in our world, it happens in the animal world like this. Do I need to help you identify where is the husband you look at how sad he looks, he really looks sad, like he, actually his mind is no more there, by the way, I can tell his mind is somewhere else already soccer or whatever, but he's just there and somehow the, the other the other bird thinks that by shouting louder, screaming louder, it gets it, it doesn't it just turns him even further.

Not just birds, I also noticed that it happens to lions. Again, you don't have to figure out where is the husband and where is the wife, nagging well someone said this is tongue-in-cheek alright, please, God made the earth and rested, God made man and rested God made woman and since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Now the Bible does talk about this nagging tendency Proverbs 25, it is better to live in the corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Do you know why men don't want to go home, they like to hang out there, happy hour, don't want to come home, maybe because when they come home they face a quarrelsome wife.

So they rather avoid because these are things that does not communicate respect. In fact you are with your harsh words maybe putting him down and that's not helpful. So respecting your husband is not just a concept, it is something very practical. Don't criticize or nag at your husband constantly.

Number two, let me suggest also that you should not seek to undermine your husband in his views and decisions. Again let me say it is not that you cannot offer a counter argument to sharpen his thinking, but it's another thing to be constantly undermining him.

Some ladies, women, wives, they feel like their job in the family is to be the policeman or the check system at home. So they like to play the role of opposition party, fan dui dang, you know, everything I, wo fan dui, everything the husband says, no I object and so there is this constant tug-of-war.

It's almost like you feel it's a God-given role to counterbalance your husband. You have to be the one that check him, and so whatever you say you check him. Check, you check, you check and so after a while, your husband checks on you, he, he doesn't bother with you, he doesn't want to tell you anything anymore because you're constantly undermining him.

It was a Laura Bush who said I would never do anything to undermine my husband's point of view, interesting right. Behind a apparently, I would say, successful man is a respectful submissive wife. So be careful about that and the third thing I would caution against would be don't talk bad about your husband to anyone, ever.

Ladies you like to gather for high tea and when you have your high tea you may talk about your kids but inevitably, you also talk about your husband and then that's where it all begins, aiyah, you know, my husband, he never, oh yah, my husband also like that, yah lah, they all useless ones lah oh yah, hiyah, we really made, and, and you know, just spur each other on to, to talk badly and I think you should be careful.

This, as I've mentioned can also happen in spiritual meetings like prayer meetings, please pray for John, my husband he's always sleeping, he's always playing his phone, he doesn't do anything at home, he's a useless man, please pray for me that I can submit to him.

Well be careful it, I'm not saying you cannot share your struggles but there's a line that you need to guard between sharing because you need to and just venting your frustrations and talking badly and I think this happens not only in prayer meetings but happens every day perhaps when you're with your kids.

You see lah, your father always never do this one, you see lah, your father always never ask instructions and drive us to the wrong places you see lah, you see lah I told you already, I told you already and, and when your kids hear that wow, a man doesn't want to be disrespected, he doesn't want to be disrespected publicly and certainly not in front of his children. You remember the story in the Bible where David was disrespected by his wife Michal, it's almost like that's the death blow to their marriage, she despised him. So be careful about talking badly, despising your husband.

And then the last one, fourth one, something you shouldn't do, don't act like his mommy. I know many of you women you are great mommies, you're so good you, you control your kids diets, waking hours, study time and we need to, we need to have such structures and routines for our kids and you're so used to controlling and maybe you are an excellent boss, excellent superior in your offices, so you control your subordinates and you tell them what to do and you're capable, women you are just more able to multitask.

But please when it comes to husband, don't act like his mommy, don't tell him, John hey, go and do this, go and do that, go and, and after a while, your husband can never lead because he is frustrated, being treated like a kid, and yet this is so common that the moms or the wives would mother the husbands and dominate them.

The story is told of a man who died and got to heaven. When he got to heaven, he saw a, a long line of men queuing up, they were queuing up before a sign that says those men who have been dominated by their wives, queues of them, long line then he turned to the other side and saw a sign that says those men who have never been dominated by their wives and there was just one guy, small, scrawny, short, skinny guy and so this man was amazed. He went to this small, scrawny, skinny guy and says, hey look at that line there, millions of men who stand under the sign dominated by my wife, how come you can stand here, not dominated by my wife. The man says, I don't know, my wife tell me to stand here.

Wives, don't act like his mommy, don't try to control your husband, when you married him, when you chose to marry him, he was doing fine alright, he, he can be his man, I know men, we are, are childish, we are slow to grow, we are immature in many ways, but you're not helping if you're constantly mommying, he will not grow up, he will be frustrated. You're not showing him respect that allows him to thrive and rise like a leader.

So, these are things that I think you should avoid, what are they, don't nag him and criticize him constantly, don't undermine his views and decisions constantly, don't talk bad about him ever and don't act like his mommy simple. Men, nod their head, yah, I know, very easy, wives I think is still digesting, but let me add on, I got to run, rush. What it means, then to respect your husband is instead of nagging and criticizing him I think you should appreciate him. Tell him dear, I appreciate you, but please think of something to say because he may turn around and say why ah and if you have nothing to say, it's devastating alright, so think of something dear I appreciate you and, and appreciate him.

Sometimes I think women, you think that your husband is he's full of ego already, cannot praise him anymore. Must the cho cho him, must burst his bubble, so you aiyah, actually you are not so good, actually lousy, you actually, actually, actually and, and you pop, pop pop, pop pop, pop aah, he lau hong, he's deflated but you say pastor, if I, encourage him, I, I cheer him, then he becomes too proud.

Well, that's not your problem, your challenge here, your key thing is to help him, to affirm him, to appreciate him. It is God who will humble him, don't you worry, God resists the proud God will do that but it's not you that God has called to criticize him and to poke him so be your husband's number one fan alright, cheer him on even if the world is against him, at least he knows his wife is for him.

Recently, there is the I learned a new phrase in Chinese language it's fans in Chinese is called fen si, what a, a funny name, but I say it's for the select like mee sua like that, fans is fen zi diehard fans si fen si, wah lau, si de hen nan kan de fen si, OK, no, diehard fans is called tie fen metallic heart, you know, tie fen you should be your husbands tie fen not those Kim Jong, not Kim what, what, what Korea, Korean star, that's should not be your hero, that should not be your idol, you idol should be your husband. Alright, so appreciate your husband cheer him on, not jeer him but cheer him alright be his number one fan.

Number two, to, to respect your husband to affirm his leadership I think the Bible also tells us to please our husbands 1st Corinthians 7, to please her husband. In other words, you respond to his loving advances with warmth and kindness and you should not use I think sex or physical intimacy as a means of control or blackmail respecting your husband involves this. I think another practical point I like you to consider really, I think this is maybe the most important is to pray for your husband. Nothing encourages your husband than to know that my wife is praying for me.

So instead of nagging him, you see problems, you see gaps in his life instead of constantly nagging him, criticizing him, undermining him maybe convert channel some of your time and efforts to prayer. I really believe if we could convert more of criticizing to praying your marriage will be very different no questions.

So wives, respect your husband, what do you mean, well, I say, pray for your husband and then of course the very common phrase read in the Bible is wives submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. This is hard. submission this word submit is a military word in the Greek hupotasso which means to rank yourself under. In other words, you willingly put yourself in a position that is subservient to the leader so as to affirm and honour his leadership, so as to support his leadership.

Let me say this again submission doesn't mean suffering in silence. Submission doesn't mean passive waiting, submission means doing all you can to make sure he succeeds. And submission is not a bad word, a helper is not a bad word. The Holy Spirit is called a helper and a wife, you are also a helper to your husband. So you are, as best as you can, within your abilities do all that you are able to muster to support and affirm your husband, wives, that's what you do, you are not to lead him you're not to dominate him, you are to help him, submit.

Question is, should a wife submit to her husband in everything? I'm asking you, should a wife submit to her husband in everything, I hear a no, high-pitched must be a lady, yes or no? How many of you say yes, how come all men one, how many of you say no, some men also raise, okay, yes or no hey, your chance, no, you say yes, then you've to listen all the way already what does God say, it doesn't really matter what I think right, it doesn't really matter what you think right, because what matters is what God had said, right. So in Ephesians 5:24 therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in wah, I know, very soft, you are still trying to digest, swallow this difficult, hard pill to swallow.

How in the world is this possible, now let me try to add a qualifier, I don't think a wife is to submit to her husband if the husband is leading them to sin, because I think a greater principle comes in, the apostles themselves taught us, we ought to obey God rather than man, yes, they are under an authority structure but above that authority structure is God and so if that lower authority tells you to contradict a greater authority you don't do that, you obey God rather than men. So I don't think this is saying wives submit your husbands, even when they are leading you to sin, no. But apart from that, apart from sin, you are to submit to your husbands in everything.

Now of course as a Christ follower and as a man who knows Jesus as your Savior, you do not take Ephesians 5:34 paste it over your head and tell your wife, listen to me. You shouldn't do that because why, a Christ following man should say I want to sacrifice myself to meet your needs, but as for you wife, you don't presume upon that but you recognize this is what God wants from you, I am to submit to my husband in everything. So that may mean your Gucci that would never come, but that's okay, submit yourselves to your own husbands in everything.

Wives, respect your husbands, how many of you say this is easy then do this, how many of you do this, wives pastor, what you say very simple, I already do all, got anymore or not, anyone like that I have part two for you if you need. I doubt so, I don't think anyone would say it's so easy to submit to my husband. Why is it so hard, why is it so hard, because my husband is a creep, that's why maybe he is.

But even if your husband is in general a, a good decent man, it's still very hard, you know why, there's a universal reason it's because your husband is good or husband is bad, there's a universal reason. The reason is given to us from God in Genesis 3. Husbands, I hope you read this and please be a bit more understanding towards your wife alright, just listen here. God said to the woman to Eve, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing, in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be your husband, for your husband and he shall rule over you.

Now this verse is spoken after Adam and Eve had sinned against God. So after they had disobeyed God, God came down and gave them a series of curses, curses to man, to woman, to the serpent and to planet Earth, right, so that is what we are reading. This is part of the curse that God has given because of sin and so part of the curse is that when you bear forth your children, you do so in great pain, that painful childbearing is a reminder that we have sinned against God, it's part of the curse. That's why I think you don't see any other creatures give birth with pain.

You see the hen, mother hen, when she lays the egg got aiyah like that or not, wah, you seen a hen do that coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, I don't know, I've never seen that I've never heard, I only hear them in the morning when I don't know why they do that. But, but when the hen lay the eggs it's poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, it's so easy I mean for some of us constipated, it seems easy than passing motion, they don't have pain, you seen the cows, you see the pigs, they all come out, so smoothly easily, painlessly, but if you go to KK hospital aaargh, you hear the scream all over the place, why what so special about humans, oh we are cursed, that's part of the curse, now no women would say I love the pain, it's a blessing to have the, anyone of you like that. Something wrong here but oh, it's such a blessing, no, it's not a blessing because it's a curse. So as much as sharp, painful childbearing is a curse, the next line is also a curse, it's not a blessing.

Your desire shall be for your husband, now, people read this and say oh, such a blessing, I will love my husband, wrong because this is a curse, not a blessing, so what does this verse actually mean the original he.., now, in the English it's not easy, in the Hebrew, it's also not very clear. Just reading it by itself is not easy to decipher, however, there's a simple principle that we use for understanding Bible and that is comparing Scripture with Scripture. So there is a equivalent liner, similar line one chapter down, it's the only other time this phrase occurs and it is very illuminating very helpful to understand that verse and then you come back you to understand what this means.

In Genesis 4, verse 7 it says to Cain, who is sinning against God Cain, if you do well, will you not be accepted and if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door, it's desire is for you but you must rule over it. So God is saying sin is like a predator sin is like a beast, an animal that is waiting to pounce on you, to get over you, to dominate you. So, its desire is for you is not that he wants to serve you, his desire is for you means it wants to dominate you, want to control you Cain don't you know that, it's right there, it's waiting to pounce on you. So if you think about it, it's the same here, your desire is to pounce on your husband rrrrr, you don't like to be ruled over, you want to wrest control.

Now, therefore women, you've, you're good that God has given you a wonderful ability to take care of kids, you control everything, but then this tendency when misapplied to your marital relationship can be very dangerous because now it begins the battle of the sexes. Man is supposed to rule but the woman says I want to rule over him and that's why I think it is so difficult for you. Of course, it is not helped when your husband is in your opinion, not up to scratch, not up to standard, it makes it even harder.

So why should you submit to your own husband, why alright pastor, you have told us what it looks like but why, why should I do all these things. Some of you say I will do it if only my husband shapes up, I would do if he is more responsible, I'll do it if he does 50% of household chores and then I will submit to him, but right now I'm doing 90% he's doing 10% how can I submit to him, I call the shots, why should I submit to him. Actually, the Bible is very clear. The Bible doesn't tell us to submit to your own husbands when he is good or when he's kind or when he's capable or when he's responsible, the Bible does not say in anywhere that you submit only when your husband deserves it. The Bible simply says, wives, respect your husband.

You see so often I hear this so often, pastor I cannot submit to him because he has not done one two three four five. If you tell him to go one two three four five then I will submit because to me, it's not fair. This is the idea we are raised up with, we feel that we treat one another based on how others have treated us. We want this to be equal we want this to be reciprocal but I'm afraid in the Bible it has no place to Christian obedience. That's why the Bible is given if you act on that level you are like anybody else. But the Bible calls us to a higher level of ethics we deal with people not based on what they've done to us.

Remember the golden rule in the Bible, what's the golden rule, do unto others what they do to you, no that's the normal rule. What's the golden rule do unto others what you see, jialat, you all don't know do unto others what you want them to do to you. In other words, it has nothing to do, whether they have actually done it or they will do it, nothing, it is based on what you wish they would do to you, you do it to them, even if they have never done it for you because that's the way Jesus loves you unconditionally, wives you respect your husband not because he is kind and good and capable, you do it because this is God's will.

This is His Word for you that's unconditional, that is the higher level of ethics that the Gospel calls us to. We do it because we love God you say why, how can I submit to him, well, you're to submit your husband because he is your, you're filled with the love of God in Jesus Christ you are doing this because you love God.

This rule is so prevalent in all manner of life can I say this, why do you want to submit your parents, why should you submit to the government, why? Is it because our government is the best, is it because your parents are the best, okay maybe some of you here, that's great, why, because God says so. God doesn't say submit to your parents when they are worthy, God doesn't say pay taxes to the government when they have done very well, no, you just pay your taxes.

Why, because God is the One who set these authority structures over you and so you submit to government because God is the One who has placed the government, they have problems, your parents have problems, your husband have problems, but you do what you are commanded to, and so I think there is no place for a wife to speak badly about her husband I think there is no place for man to speak badly about his parents and I don't think there's a place for men to speak badly about the government. Everybody can speak badly about the government because that's the normal rule of life, but the Christian ethic is different. We are called to be counter cultural, how, in the way we live, in the way we submit to God, in the way we say, worship is every day in the way I relate with people around me with the structures above me.

Now, I'm not saying that we should blindly follow the government in everything, they lead us to sin, we don't, it doesn't mean you cannot vote for a party that you think can lead the country better, that's not what I'm saying. It doesn't mean you, you, you can, must agree with every policy they have done, no. But that regard and honor and respect just because they are placed over us must be in the Christian's life. We are not subversive, we are not here to, to create revolts and so on. We live a peaceable quiet life, living out the Gospel in beauty and quietness, that's where the kingdom of God is, and so I think that principle is applied at home.

So if you today are saying, I will not submit to my husband until he first do this, I say you have got it wrong, you submit because of God don't wait. Some of you say, what, what if my husband is not a Christian do I still submit, I don't even think we need to guess because, first Peter 3 says, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, by the respectful and pure conduct in other words God says submit and obey your own husband even if he is not a Christian, why because I tell you to and number two you can be a blessing to him through your testimony.

So some of you may then say, pastor you don't know my family, you don't know my ah lau, my husband he's hopeless you know because if I let him run the show he's going to lead us into a mess of family will be a mess, everything we will struggle, what if, what if, what if, what if you have many what if's, because you, you can imagine all the doomsday scenarios, I know. But this is what the Bible says, for this is how the holy women who hope in God used to adorn themselves.

I love the fact that these are women, they are believers, but they are people who hope in God, they're willing to obey they are willing to trust, they are willing to surrender because they know that God will bring God ultimately, they hope in God.

So I say to you, it may be very difficult for you to release control. But that's what you have to, support your husband, let him lead and hope in God, let the what if's be in God's control. Now I'm not saying release relinquishing this control means you become quiet and not contribute, no you do what you can but you understand now your role to revere him, to respect him, to submit to him for this is how Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.

I've been married for 18 years, but my wife has never call me lord Jason, and I don't actually suggest you say that at home at all, but that tells you the regard for the husband, maybe you can try at home alright anyway and this is something beautiful, God says these women they adorn themselves this way, they are beautiful this way and the, it's clearer here in first Peter 3 verses 3 and 4 do not let your adorning be external the braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. Perhaps I should stick this verse on to those jewelry shops and save men a lot more money and you men, you must be happy I show this verse right, save you some money, maybe today.

Now some of you say, aah, that means you cannot buy gold aah, that means you cannot buy jewelry, wonderful proof text. I say actually no, because if you say that my wife can never put on gold jewelry, you're also say she should not wear any clothes right. So there is an appropriateness to such ornaments and so on. Of course other principles like materialism, covetousness, pride of life, comes in, but in and of itself, it's not really wrong to have jewelry but the focus Peter is saying is don't let your adorning be focused on external stuff, but let it be on the internal stuff, let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

In Gospel Light I see many beautiful ladies inside. I see a quiet, submissive spirit, a gentle demeanor and it is beautiful to behold, I seem beautiful ladies who make sure their husbands thrive and flourish. I see beautiful ladies who ensure the children are raised in a warm, loving, nurturing home and I pray, many, many more in this church will demonstrate such beauty. An excellent wife, a tak kong wife who can find. I pray, many will say, we find it here. I pray today your husband you men will look to her and say, yes, I found one, she's the one and what a blessing she will be May God bless you, may God bless this church with many excellent wives for His glory.

Let's bow for a word of prayer together. We came this morning to worship God. Let me remind you, worship is not just coming on a Sunday morning to sing some songs and drop some dollars into the bags and to hear some words. Worship is a lifestyle, worship is every day, Monday to Sunday and worship means I am willing to die to myself, to bring glory to God. This morning, ladies, I hope you are reminded that you are to worship God in your marriage. And that means you obey God's Word, regardless of how under performing your husband maybe, but you sacrifice yourself, you die to yourself, you worship God by saying, Lord I obey Your Word that says I am to respect my husband, much as it is so difficult for me to do, I'm willing to die to myself so that you may be honored and glorified in my family.

You know the Bible tells us, except the corn of wheat dies and abides alone, but when it dies, it brings forth much fruit, what do you mean by dying, it means this laying yourself as a living sacrifice, as a wife, so that life floods into your marriage and into your family. I long to see abundant fruit as wives lay down their lives to submit, to respect, to support their husbands,

I long to see, this church filled with men rising up to spiritual leadership because they have that confidence they have that number one fan right beside them what a beautiful sight it will be, what a beautiful family, what a beautiful church and that's what brings joy, delight and glory.

So this morning worship God with your life. He is worthy isn't it, because he gave His Son's life for you. Why do I know this because you love him and why do you love Him, because He first loved you, He gave His Son for you and so because of the Gospel, because of His love, I pray it will inspire you, motivate you to greater heights of obedience, and because you delight, you desire to reflect Christ and His church in your marriage you say Lord, have thine own way.

May our marriages portray the Gospel and may all friends and guests who may be here the first time I say to you the Christian ethic is a different ethic, entirely superior and without God absolutely impossible to do, but we are saying even though we're not perfect, we are a people inspired by the Gospel, we want to progress towards that ethic, I pray as you see the lives in this church, you will see the reality of God, you will see that Jesus did die and rise again, you see that Jesus is able to save us from our sins and you will one day repent and believe in this Savior as well. May God bless you with repentance and faith.

So, Father we thank You this morning that we can hear Your Word. Please heal our homes, please save marriages, please fill us with your life that with a love and a hope that comes from the Gospel. we will lay down our lives to honor you Bless Your church, bless our friends who are gathered, thank you and pray all this in Jesus Name, Amen.

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